What more to ask for?

Looking with Panda eyes, typing with Koala hands!

2008-04-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

YES! Break record after koala ages! Finally another post in just a few days, this is like a Miracle!

Anyway.. The title is just a random thing, dont need to pay too much of attention to it.

oh man! i have nothing much to blog today...

oh well, all are good!

*somethings that are in the past should just let it remain as past.*

yeah... think it is a good quote..

Long time since last post,

2008-04-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, i do realize that it had been quite some time ever since i have been blogging. I knew a few people through the production, just on Friday, April asked me this question," so what have you been learning in this production so far?" all i replied was," well i think is life skills and human-interactions." It is because it takes time to really know how to be able to understand the person's habit, lifestyle and much more, frankly, the nearly close to one month is not enough!

It come to term that all the hangouts, chilling and chatting are the time that you can understand them much more, my mum and i agree it is all part and parcel of life and job, though she still sometime complain that this kind of work field might distant myself from my family, but she also try to be supportive, that is what i appreciate about her, especially when i have the time to be at home, she will be like let's go out, and eat something good. Just because she wants to spend time with this "hardly-home" daughter. I love times when she will be like,"where shall we eat, you decide since you now hardly eat with us." Is like you will be, hey, work is tiring and fun, and mama supports kind of feeling, frankly, the feeling is beyond any words can describe.

I went out to have fun yesterday to sentosa, it was good, because it was all about beach, more beach, sand and more sand. *laughs* it was once again a good tanning session! excluding the being throw down to the sea part. However, come to think about it, it always have been like that, hasn't it? Then after that i went to find "aunty" Teng Shang, she was nice and met her friend, Irene. They were fun people, heard all kind of stories and it was good! "aunty" treat me a drink and sent me home, one day i shall kidnap her wallet and pay for her drink, cab fare and more, depend on my ability! "Ma" Jolene could not be there, she was working, but how i miss her!
We went Balcony by the way, the service attitude not very good, especially a particular male waiter, his attitude and tone of voice was horrible! shall never visit there even after i turn eighteen! *smiles*

2008-03-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

High School Musical2- I got to go my own way

Gabriella
I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us
doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged

It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all
slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've
gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok..
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Troy
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?

Gabriella
What about trust?

Troy
you know I never wanted to hurt you

Gabriella
and what about me?

Troy
What am I supposed to do?

Gabriella
I gotta leave but I'll miss you

Troy
I'll miss you

Gabriella
so
I've got to move on and be who I am

Troy
Why do you have to go?

Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand

Troy:
I'm trying to understand

Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now

Troy
I want you to stay

Gabriella
I wanna go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am

Troy
What about us?

Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand

Troy
I'm trying to understand

Gabriella
We might find our place in this
world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way

(Through darkness and light, between you and me, a decision is being made, choosing this song is because, it sings out my heart words, thank you for all those wonderful moments, take care.)

UNTITLED

2008-03-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

Frankly speaking, i am super tired now, going to sleep soon, just had an overnight shoot. However, thought that i havent been updating my blog, and it is being left to rot, maybe all i want to say is, I need the strength to go through all these, so may i plead that all of you please continue praying for me? Thank you

Are you leaving a legacy behind??

2008-02-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

Well, i think most of you or rather i think all of you know about Lydia Sum who just passed away not very long ago. You see, i went home quite early because Richard had plan to have dinner with his connect group, anyway, my lovely mummy also have decided to go out and play mahjong in the evening on Thursday. So i stayed at home watching television programmes (oh ya! thank God mummy has subscribe Starhub Cable vision!) so i was switching channels till i saw TVBJ was like showing how the celebrities missed Lydia and telling her story of meaning of living and stuff, and when the celebrities talked about her, none of them could control crying or tearing, it made me tear too! she was such a memorable woman! besides that, it got me thinking how much she meant to them, it was no bad memories but was all her legacy that remains, like her strong will-power, her cheerful mindset and laughter.

To think deeper, if one day when we also passed on, what will people remember about us? will they cry or tear when they mention about us? Will we be like on TV letting people say how much thing we have impacted them?
I dont know about all of you, but i wish to leave a legacy even when i pass away, i want to let people think of me not as, " oh jasmine ar, like that lohz" but to be like," jasmine *cries* she was...*sniff* a person who i will never forget..*sniff* she let me know the true meaning about.. *sniff* is not what life determines us, but we are the ones to determine our lives "

Kind of amazing, dont you think so? -smiles-

The 100th Post!!

2008-01-29T07:15:00.000-08:00

It is like finally! After such a long time, i am using Wi liang's lappy because i need to do some things that requires a Xp and you all know that i only have a macintosh macbook, so have to borrow from him.. cant stand him! his laptop is lagging and yet he can still stand it! kind of powerful dont you agree?
anyway, i have to bear with this laptop until i have finish the things.. *smiles*

Richard and i is still counting on our days together.. After being together for so long. I feel blessed having him, although we will argue, fight, but the best part is whenever after all those struggling, the hugs that i receive became warmer and much more cosier! Hugs do wonders okay? so all the boyfriends, sometimes when your girlfriends throw their tantrum and they seems unreaasonable, try hugging them, it is actually quite soothing!! and i am totally serious about.

I had bad headache today! it is the most unbearable thing i can handle, you can throw me anything to handle, BUT NOT headaches! I will cry okay? ST Must emphasize that today's weather is the craziest ever! one minute it can be the best sun-tanning sun you would ever ask for, the next minute, rain pouring like godrillas and elephant!(i know there aint such definition, but i am trying to take initiatives to be creative here can?)

First we went for a two-hours lesson in class, next thing we knew we were on our way to Canon's HD film festival, then was going to VIVO, did nothing much, so Fu and i decided to gop DAISO and get our Acrylic nails and nail glue too! Mind you, they are only $4 in TOTAL! It is super cheap, provided it really look nice!

Oh ya, Richard and i went to find his mum after the PM, partly because we really felt that we have nowhere to go, i was wearing the super high heels again, and my feets were pretty worn-out and those heels gave me presents-BLISTERS they were painful, think Richard's mum could no longer stand it so she bought for me a pair of sandals to change into, they are really nice people and i feel so so bless!
I think that is all for now.
Shall blog again.... Soon.. i think.

2007-12-31T22:04:00.000-08:00

The Way You Look At Me
No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up too
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes see everything without a single word

CHORUS
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

If I could freeze a moment in my mind
It'll be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stands still
'Cause, baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

BRIDGE
I don't know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens every time

'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

The way you look at me

***************************

This is a really nice song!! Meaningful words too.
Sometimes we just need to lay back a little, enjoying nice melody and nice songs to feel kind of recharge, and look at things with a little different perspectives.

Life ain't a bed of roses with all the enjoyments. Sometimes, it can be but always bear in mind that there are thorns beneath it. Playing and relaxing is really good but some reflections can make us better people! Well it is 2008 now! a brand new year, a new start. i saw fireworks at the countdown. i was there to help out my lecturer and *boom!* i saw fireworks! they are awesome, all seems so magnificient!
Thank God for them! it brightens me up!

Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A day of special?

2007-11-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

yesterday i am a good girl! i came home right after school, stayed at home with Chard, played games he was snoring away. He cannot accompany me for a full day today! He had to visit his neighbor who have gotten a serious stroke. At least he stayed until 5 plus before leaving. anyway, we drank and ate a lot of things, like, Fried Kway tiao, milo dinosaur, i drank Pearl milk tea and he drank Green apple ice blended.

I was left to continue slacking until my parents reach home. My mother wants to have porridge at home, so i was instructed to cook it. They brought home some vegetable, i then volunteered to cook the vegetable. {serve no fear, i can cook!} since yesterday (27-11-07) is my dad's birthday. to me, it tasted not bad. However, there is always roon for improvement.

i told Chard about it, then he was like still have? (he will ask because i have never cook anything for him) so in the end he won the victory by asking me to cook for him today. but make sure you are the one that helps to clean up okay?

I think that is all.

love is a choice not a feeling, it is only when two have agreed on the same choice that binds them closer together.

Back!

2007-11-18T07:43:00.001-08:00

Hello people, i am finally back after a while, some people complain that they did not see my tag board so i change the tag board back to Cbox. Since it seems to be more trust-able.

happy 8 months!
To MoJOJO *laugh till roll on floor*
yes, i know what you all are thinking, it is a new nickname i decided to give to Richard, he will go crazy after he see this. *thinking* which i hope will not be too funny to extremes.

Thank you for being there. I appreciates your presence!

2007-11-12T07:17:00.000-08:00

Havent been updating any of my blogs, shall update now.

i miss sTuPiD!

i have learn a lot of stuff from the recent days i have been living.*thinks*(sounded as if i have never ever even live.)
Anyway i think, being a human, we will really live life only when we chose to. All about choices, agree?

i know 881 have like sort of ended, however, my craze for it hasn't die yet. It is really a nice film after so long. This shows that local film makers and film can have a foothold in local and foreign industry!

Time flies, so fast, it is already November, my relationship with Richard has already lasted for almost 8 months already. i learn a lot of things from him, i started to want to appreciate him more. Although at times we still do argue but mostly are mild ones, which is good.

"SUFFERING"---> this is now a love/hate word to me.
Rev.Dr. Ulf Ekman make me realise that this is a word which is totally inevitable for everyone which means includes believers and non-believers.

Remember how we usually like keep saying, "oh, i feel so sad, how could people or even God make me suffer so much?!" but after he said one sentence, i really felt like laughing, he said," you might say, but you dont know what i am going through, but you dont know what I am GOING THROUGH! Do you want to exchange?

so stupid right? but come to think about it, isnt it true? if we think our problems are huge enough, imagine his problems, i dont think it is just twice as big as ours, it might even be a Zillion more than what we are handling right? *laughs*

Oh well, i dont have much comments.

Oh, and last friday i brought Primary one kids to Suntec City for a Math trail. ( it is my part time job) they were so adorable! they sang songs on the bus ride okay? Did they make you jealous? *smiles*
i will show you their picture once i get it from Tyara!
That is about it *waves* Good Bye and Good Night!

Piles of work. time to slack maybe?

2007-10-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

i know. I have been blog shifting make people confuse right? Who ask you people never respond to my questions asking for you people's opinion.

Sore throat, BEGONE!! *thinking* *laughs* sorry kind of lame!
I am tired!! however, i always want to remember what Pastor and Gabriel always say, "tired people change the world!!" and Oh oh! do you know, EVAN ALMIGHTY IS THE BEST!! i know that i am kind of slow, but still, EVAN ALMIGHTY IS THE BEST!!

sometimes,i am those kind who hope to see the outcome happening almost immediately. Especially when it concerns/ associates with prayer.
but what the character said was very true, " when people prays for patience, will God give them patience immediately or opportunities to let them learn patience? if someone ask God for a family to stay closer to one another and become more like a family, will God just give it to them or give them opportunities to get closer and stick together as a family??"

So next time if people dare to question me stuff like, "i ask God to bring me to a higher level to help people, but end up i cannot even help myself! why so?"
i shall use the same principle and answer that person. so exciting right??!!

God is my precious and my Saviour!! i love HIM forever!!

2007-10-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

This is a consequence for not bothering to comment on my blog!!! *grins*

(09-10-07)
i am so tired!! actually, i am kind of awake. today went to meet PuiMan for dinner at Sakae Sushi!! it have been ages!! Since i saw her and went out *smiles*
We stuffed ourselves with all the wonderful indulges we could have! the best thing of all!! can you believe it? we ordered 5 CHAWAMUSHI!!! And Puiman ah jie ate 3 of them*laughs* at the end of the day, we barely could walk, stand upright and bear the "oily" spell coming from i think the pasa malam beside Causeway! *but overall rating, I AM SATISFIED!*

(13-10-07)
*yawns* today is a totally different story!! i am so TIRED!!
StUpId!! i have nothing to blog already! *frowns* at least i blogged, great improvement!!

Something i am puzzled about.

2007-10-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

Everytime when i am out, i always hear Believers saying," Jesus i love You, I will never forsake You, the world might be against me, but i know You are always with me, I want to always be with You till eternity."
However i wonder, how true are all these? or are these words only as a superficial appearance, or only when your life is smooth-sailing, something to be said and never be accomplish?
I came across many who have turned their back away from God saying He has forsaken them , leaving them in a lurch, that was the reason which caused them to turn away. Some say, "the time when i needed Him most, He was never there. I prayed and fasted but He NEVER answers any of my prayer."
To think about was it you who have turn away from Him because you stop believing Him and decided to go by your way and claim that it was all His fault? If so, i feels that God have been greatly maligned, He always have been there. Just that His presence is being denied instead of being acknowledge, not because you have to, but you CHOOSE to.
It have caused me to think a lot.

Tell me where should i blog!!

2007-10-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

i am kind of bored with my another blog.. because, NO PEOPLE BOTHERS TO GIVE ANY COMMENT!!!

Please give me some solutions will you people?

heys, i am shifting " house

2007-08-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

however, i will come here and duplicate the same post. so no worries!
http://drinktea.wordpress.com

well, let me update a bit, Mel and i went to visit K yesterday, 07 August. He is so adorable, but he seems to have shrink a bit in size, by looking at him, even your heart just melts off. Mel went off earlier. because she had something on after that, while for me, i am free. thus i decided to spend some quality time with E and K, just by then, we got hungry, so we decided to get delivery as K has fallen asleep, what to do? he is only three month plus old. KFC was our choice, she did not have the money, so i had to pay first. If i know earlier, i might have considered Mac, cheaper. *that is what happen when your budget is running slightly low.* Her mother then popped by, (it is just a description, as you know mothers dont literally pop by, they neither drop by *imagine dropping mothers* { who would you even consider catching??}) ~Random thought only~

I realised she is surrounded by people who smokes, i think the best thing among that is, E does not smoke! Good for K! well, because she is his mother, then if she had smoking habits, it would be really bad for him right? E's mother was smoking, her mother's boyfriend was also smoking, I think K's little nose could not take it, he was irritated, he then made noise and started sneezing, i had to carry him to the kitchen to get fresh air! Babies are adorable! even when he sneezes!!

6 more years right chard?? *giggling*

Communication is really the key for relationships! no matter friendship or boy-girl relationship . this is something you can never deny.

Chard and i nearly ended our relationship, however both wanted to hold on, we then gave ourselves a day to think about it, then decided it is a continuous chapter, it has not reach finale yet. it did not come just like that, it came by communications. do agree with me! =)

Heys i just realise, Chard!! we havent take neoprint for a very long time!! do you mind??!! i want to take!! * laughing while touching his boing boing hair*

for Fuer, i think she was so pissed yesterday, she could have killed me with that Halal Fork!! she threw both her spoon and fork on the plate. * Richard was beside her, so even if she wants to kill me, i doubt she could! ( right Fu? )*

Had to be firm, successfully calmed her down, then told her that i could have threw the plate directly towards her blouse, however i did not, i make a stand not to throw stuff, the most i did was hand gesture, like when people are doing presentation. I told her that it was super rude, and she did it in front of our friends, if i cared for my " face/ reputation" i could have easily slap her, and her working- to- be group leader was at the same tale, it would not be nice to see this state of hers.

WOW! i finally understand this course's strength, it seriously teach and require a lot of tolerance, discipline and endurance!

I am not selected =((( but it is okay, i have other chances too

2007-08-07T06:51:00.000-07:00

i am NOT selected!! However, it is okay! because at least i could got in to the top 15, it had already been great. Nevertheless, can anyone, just ANYONE, explain to me why BERWIN??!! why him??!! I admitted my defeat to the rest 5 of the directors out of the top 6, but not him!! he is so arrogant, proud, his pitch did not work out for me. i just cant figure it out.

Tyara, Mel, Timothy, although i did not make it this round, however, i will try my best the next round! be my cast the next time round as well can? i believe my cast awesome! the best are always kept till the last before using it and letting the others left amazed! Thank you for putting in the effort with me!

2007-08-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

God, i am now thinking of the song,

Whom have i in Heaven but You
There is none who i desire besides You
my heart and my strength, many times they fail
but there is one truth that always will prevail
God is the Strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
God is the Strength of my heart
And my Portion forever
forever

It is really you that that i long for, and care for, all thing might pass away, but You will never.

Thank you for the strength that you have given me. I love You.

2007-07-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

30 July 2007 ( couldnt post it, so posting it now) =)
HEY HEY!! i am like in school now! i had presented my second pitch already, the comments by Nick is not bad, however we are still unsure the final result. i NEED prayers! =)MEL! Deal set right?
It is not Richard's turn, so POOR THING!! *laugh out really loud!*
I think he is starting to panic already,he is looking at my screen, and seem to silently agreeing with me, oh well, he also have panic attacks like me!! *look at Richard* *do funny expressions* He is doing funny expressions at me also, lame pork! He love doing the poke poke deal, everytime we play, he will always act cute and then say, " pok,pok"
Dont you agree richard??? =)
Okay, i am listening to my other classmates pitching also, so i shall get ideals from their pitchs =)

know what?
Just now, Nick was asking who will be next, after Azli, it is Sebbie, however he have not reach yet , so Nick was like, " RICHARD" then Richard jumped up, i think he is like super scared! then Sebbie just arrived on time! =)
it is now safe for him, Richard, i think you really need to thank God le!

i need to be SUPERGIRL!!

2007-07-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

God! i need a MILLION HANDS!! So that i will be able to multi-task better, after thinking for a while, i realized that it also means that i need five THOUSAND BRAINS! So i will not be over-working this little pea-brain of mine.

Today i was once again reminded by my grandmother,
Popo, today i felt the empty seat for you, the one always beside Gonggong, with a pouted lips and a grumpy yet adorable face asking for a black stout, which no matter what, you will still getting, despite how we love you and dote on you, worrying about your health. Asking mummy to sit beside you, so that she can drink with you, taking a lot of te side dishes to distribute them to us, with us always sayin, " thank you popo, enough already." i cannot really recall once that you will just be eating, caring for yourself, if that happens, i think i will be super surprise.
i am no longer crying, because i finally understood that you leaving us is only temporary, the eternal reunion has yet to come, but with you in my heart, i will have more strength and motivation, i know that, even if the world turn against me, i will still have you and God to love me! =)

~ love you as always!~

2007-07-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

This is being drawn by me on Fuer's hand, during CMS lesson, i think while the lecturer was talking, my hands were bored so i grabbed Fuer's hand to draw, she is a sweet babe! because she did not object nor mind, just left her hand for me to decorate. However, i also did not disappoint her, because it is not done badly, agree? =D

I drew on Wi liang, Chard and my own hand as well, no matter what, have to be fair, i scribbled and decorated all the hands, and i am so proud with my work!! using black ink pen is good, you know why? it gives you a bit of illusion like as if it is a real tattoo.

I drew things on their hand yesterday again, however, this time i did not draw on my own hand! *laughs* because after drawing for them , i felt very lazy. this is Chard's hand! it is a joke between Ida, Chard and myself. That is why you see a "malnutrition" monkey over there.

Wi liang's hand was fun to draw on, when i was drawing the guy's pants on his hand, he was like saying, why the legs look wobbly? then i told him, it was crumpled and not wobbly legs, because i wont include Wi liang's own leg there. *he got my "sour powder" then he was, " okay, then i have nothing to say. i just look at him and laugh =)

Fuer's hand again! She is our number one, favorite sotong, thus i drew this on her. we just laugh about it and it was her tattoo for the day. She is my sha sotong!

okay i looked so tired because i just cried before snapping this picture, i cried because Chard actually did a video for me, he was so clever in selecting the song, the pictures, the lyrics that the combination just summons my tears, i kept crying.
Thank you Chard, thank you for all you have done for me!

*love you~

2007-07-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

Wei and me! =) However, this little Mrs, actually commented my eyes are small!! =( *hmpf* but what to do? she is a precious in my eyes, *precious sis~* so forgiven and being loved okay?? =)

Today i woke up early for service! *so proud of myself* i think the happiest person is Chard! It is because he dont have to give more than 20 missed calls for me to struggle getting up. When he called, i have already bathed! *laughs* think you are too late, my boy!

Couldn't get any seats initially, so i used my favorite method, get help! i called my sister checking out whether she had spare seats, she told me that she have three, and i took it. i needed eleven seats, so have to grab any of them if they are being spotted. Then next target was PUI MAN,ah jie, she was even cuter, because i spotted her on the same Terrence and her row seems empty, i purposely called her and ask her. *Ching ching* i got another four more seats! so still lack of four seats, and being a nice member of the church and because her care for me [i hope] she gave me the remaining four seats which i needed! Thank you so much!! Dorcas came and was pretty amazed, ( i know what are you people thinking about,)however no, she was not amazed with me, but the people of today's morning service people, they really was early. normally Sunday we will get a chance to sit at Alpha at least, but not today, so you can imagine the people there today, it can be described as "people mountain, people sea" God moved greatly today, it has been such a long time that i felt the way i did! we were like praying then Pst Kong told us to clap our hands and release our faith, and letting God help us to worry less, for a born-worrier like me, needed it alot. i teared when clapping because i really felt the calmness, it is just a very amazing feeling.

I am going to fast for Monday, Tuesdaya and Thursday, it might not be 24hours fast, but i know if i have the right motive and motivation, God will see it too!! =)

okay, enough of the typing.

P/S People, i am busy but bored too, can you all like meet up with me?? i miss you people loads!

2007-07-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

Chard did this, he is simply awesome!! i love him loads!!

2007-07-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

it have been a long time since i have updated my blog,ever since i came back??

i have pitched for my film, do greatly hope will be chosen, so that i can control the timing. *right? God?? =)*
today is 16 July 2007, five months after my popo have passed away, i miss her badly still. Each time i think of her, i will either just smile, or have tears dwelling in my eyes. you might think i am emotional, however, to think about, missing and feeling sad for one person that have impacted my life greatly is something, (for the first time) not wrong. well, God has given us the right to feel for things, because He have given us FEELings.

I have always been wondering, if one day, it is my turn and time to leave this world, who will actually really cry and think of me. Imagine, instead of people being sad about your loss, or your exsistence on earth have "time-up", they are like celebrating with champagne and partying, i think i will like feel even more sad than leaving them.

I remember Dorcas once said, what matters and makes people remember you is not what were you or what you have done, but is when you manage to leave a legacy behind. which is pretty true.

Was talking to Melissa the other day and came to a conclusion, raising up to higher level is one thing, but have to really bear in mind that "Light produces Light". wanting to discipline people is one thing, but looking at self and the level of discipline before doing it, is a totally different thing. I then talked to Chard and really talked a lot. about both Spiritual stuff and our relationship, if we did not hold on, we might have long broken up, but he is such a nice BF, i dont seem willing to just shortchange myself, he thought the same way too, that is also a reason why we have not actually parted ways.

God, the joy of the Lord is my strength! i might be weary, tired and do not really want to carry on in certain things, but if the things are pleasing to you, i am willing to do it. because i need you for my strength.

*Find me in Your Holiness
Lead me in Your Righteousness
How i love You
Beautiful Saviour

When i'm weak You make me strong
Bearing my cross I carry on
How i need You
Heavenly Father

Search my heart oh Lord
You know my every thought
An open book to You
I place my all in Your hands

Falling at Your feet
As my whole world fades away
Falling at your feet
Let my life be wholly thine
My life be wholly thine
Jesus

Emmanuel
Emmanuel
Abba Father never let me go
Emmanuel
Emmanuel
Abba Father never let me go*

2007-07-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

I am leaving Singapore later, now still updating blog while waiting for him to appear and then do some editing.
Chard ar! aku cinta kamu more and more le. As time passes by, i love you more. We had alot of "major" arguement, but all thanks to your patience and love, we manage to settle them and move on. I will be back REALLY SOON!! =) only for 4 days and 3 nights only. anyway, ni you sheng bing le, must take care and rest more. Drink a lot of water okay?

Pui man ah jie, you must also take care horz, recently the weather really cannot make it de, sometimes i wonder whether does it have moodswing. i know you will pop by my bloggy, so might as well just tell you all these. Drink MORE AND MORE water! =)

Mel, i love you, you are my sweetest pie! you must take care too ya? =) i EXPECT A SUPER BIG HUG FROM YOU!! *no excuses okay?*

wa, it is going to be an adventure, first time flying off without my parents and my sister. The weird feeling of lost and really weird. Lost because, i am suddenly so clueless of what i want to pack and bring, there is a packing list lohz.
hahz. anyway. He reach le.. blog again later, MAYBE.

i got my results!!

2007-06-28T07:19:00.001-07:00

Finally , after so long, another post.
Tried posting a few times, but everytime finish typing just lazy then close the window. ~lack of discipline~
I have gotten back my results already! Best Results ever!!*i think*
Digital Photography- B
Video Production1- A
Computer Graphics- B
GPA-3.438

I am so satisfied with my grades, the best part, i did not think i could even pass my Video production1, because i did not even really studied for it. Before that i even send my parents off at the airport, as they were flying off to Kuching. The next thing i know i had to cab back to school and there i was in the examination hall. i think my dad and mum are proud of my grades! However, pride is not going to get in the way, because i am also not really happy with my grades, i want to obtain higher marks! So i am going to study even harder. *hmm, that reminds me, my synopsis is still half-done only*

Hey people, i am really flying off to Hongkong already, next Wednesday, do not even bother to think of sending me off. Trust me, none of you will ever be able to wake up. i have to reach the airport by 5.35..AM, taking the first flight among the three my school people are going off in. the plane will leave at 8am.. most of the media team crew are taking the first flight, except my dear friends, Sufian and Thomas. See you both there! The rest of the crew members are leaving in the first flight, and coming back in the first flight also. oh, i will be touching down back at singapore only on Saturday,7 July, 7.55pm. Not a bad news, because it means, instead of missing two lessons of Sermon On the Mount, i will only need to miss one! ~excited!~

i am suddenly reminded with this song,
"Read your bible, pray everyday
pray everyday, Pray everyday
Read your bible, pray everyday
And you will Grow, Grow, Grow

And you will grow,grow,grow
And you grow, grow, grow

Read your bible, pray everyday
And you will grow, grow, grow"

True enough! just that it is not just physical growing, but in the spiritual life and in maturity.

yeah yeah, blogging.

2007-06-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

*laughs* today i saw Miss Veronica, or rather Mdm Veronica. My beloved lecturer. the co-ordinator and facilitator for the HongKong seminar i am flying off really soon. i gave her a shock, as in, i saw this really familiar face, then i was like, trying to look closer. I then concluded it must be her, because i have this ability of recognising people's backview. *wondering why* Anyway, it was really her! *Excited!* she was like, "oh hello! you come here to shop is it? you alone?" i was then, " emm...nope. with Richard." then she asked me," so went are you going Hongkong?" *frankly speaking i was stunned just suddenly, like i did not understand a single word spoke by her.* i quickly replied," 4th JULY"
she is fun.

Hey people! a whole lot of things today!

2007-06-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hey People! did i even mention that after my sister and i reach home from the camp, both of us were K.O! we slept from 12.14pm till around 9.30pm!! Seriously! what a day man! So awesome!

and yesterday was my sha zhu de birthday!! however, due to the knockout, i couldnt celebrate his birthday for him. *sobsob*
BUT!! i celebrated for him last week! in advance by one week and two days! bought him a cheese cake. so in a sense, i am still a good girlfriend right?
i am so glad we talked things out! i LOVE YOU!! hahaz

*blushes* okay, i am shy. shall leave
NIGHTS!!

i AM BACK!!

2007-06-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

Well all, Jasmine is back! and Kicking alive!
The two days of camp was very fun, tiring too.
On Thursday morning, we had to report there by 10am. However Mel, Tyara and i reached there around 10.06am, we thought we were going to be locked out, then realised that 10 am then start registering. everything were only suppose to start at 10.30am. We had a "No Regret" workshop being presented by our Very own Gabriel! it is about, how we should cherish our life and knowing that pre-marital sex are not needed to be a prove of coolness, our virginity are sacred and etc.
it sounds weird hearing everything, but then again it was good. we even made a promise to ourselves that we shall not commit pre-marital sex. as a respect to ourselves, our future spouse, our parents and our future children.
Then we had some other activities, all the way then we went to our " Promise Land" we pitched our tents and played games. We only slept at 3.30 when the leaders said it was lights out time. and before you know it, we were being woken up at 4 plus.
We had another game, my group won!! the reward was then BIG BREAKFAST!! then after that, by right suppose to have tele-match. However as the rain kicks in, we had to cancel it.
Despite not having it, my group emerge as CHAMPION!! hahaz, our hamper was Nutritous! we had essence of chicken, ribena and many more.
Sozo means wholesome. i await more to come as i know we are renewed once again. Nothing is impossible when you put your turst in Him! His wonder always amazes me.

~ all things may past away, but the Word of God will always remain!~

a meaningful day

2007-06-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

heys, i am here to update again.
i am a Very Busy girl!! up till now, i had "dates" every single day.
Monday- i had a Class BBQ!! However, before that i met up with XinYi!! Havent been seeing her since, last year, after Jowell's birthday. She became prettier, yet as fun as always. We went to watch "Men In White" If you want to have a good laugh, this will be a good choice. it is being directed by Kelvin Tong (hope the spelling is right) Heard from Richard that the rating for this movie is just one star, but to me, it worth at least six out of ten. While then again, different people have different views about things, so i respect the person who rated the movie. Then it was BBQ!! i reach there, rented a bicycle and cycle for an hour then went to play in Escape Theme Park, for FREE!! It is because Fu er have four free coupon for either Escape theme park or Wild wild wet. However since we did not bring our swim wear, we decided to be crazy at ESCAPE!! i had a tremendous time!

Tuesday- I met up with pui man!!(ah jie) and Munjung. Well, we did some dumb dumb stuff, and ate a lot a lot of ice cream, since we were at yuki yaki, however she was the saddest, because me and Munjung keep stuffing food into her bowl, then all she could do was to eat and eat and eat.*evil grin* You know what was the worse thing? Not only that the fact that she have eaten before coming to meet us, she was going for a ballet class after that, then later in the night, when she was already home, she told me she was so full, she could hardly jump!! so poor thing. *laugh until rolling on the floor*

Wednesday- i went with Richard to BBQ, OMG! i am getting more in love with him, celebrated is birthday! and he got "birthday BASH!" He even fell down. So careless, but what to do, he is a silly piglet.
God please be in the centre of us always! Thank you for him to be by my side.

Thursday and Friday, i will be going for Souzo Camp, two days and one night. So KIND SOULs, PLEASE MISS ME!! i dont mind replying SMSes!! * biggest hint ever, if you still dont understand, what more can i say?*
okay that is about it!
=)

~SwEeTeSt RoMaNcE dont come only by words, but by your actions! ~

2007-06-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

Emerge have ended.. *sobsob* why must it have to end. However, it is so contradicting, one side of me is glad that it has ended, the other side, hates to see it end. No matter what it is, i enjoyed this year's emerge alot. Yes! it is because i know I CAN DO ALL THINGS! "Let no one despise your youth" is being mention in the bible. Was talking to richard just now about how we should treat the people and stuff. He told me, "if people dont treat you well, why should we treat them well?" Funny thing was, i had this thought also, quite a number of times, however, i told him, how i felt suddenly, " yes, but the bible did mention that we should love God whole-heartedly, and LOVE PEOPLE FERVENTLY. Jesus also did mention, if someone slap you on your right side, turn to your left side of the face and ask the person to slap it too. What you sow, you shall reap. if you make an effort to sow in to the person's life, and might not even appreciate what you are doing or have done for them, however, you will not be short change, ( suddenly, i felt so spiritual ) it is because, you are the one who sow it, and when the fruits are out, you are the one who can really savour and enjoy the outcome, people might stop by an have some, those who rejected it, will come to realisation what a great fruit they have missed out."
I find it really true.. although w think that, what will i often get when i am doing this.. However i no longer think of the outcome, but i will start enjoying the process. it is the same as growing up, the most important part is not how much you have grown to be, but the process of growing up, going through hurts and sorrows. =)
think i will end here for now..

Fun day!!

2007-05-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hey people, MONDAY, it was a very fun day!!! You can hardly imagine this. For someone as busy as ever, which is me, could actually go over to Senates!! Well, though it was not really to enjoy, but i have fun shooting the sea with rushing waves. Of course, i could not have been there like alone right? so, Richard went with me, along was Yishen and Patrick. We shot only a while yet being tired out by the test in the morning, NO ONE wanted to take anymore photos. Thus we started playing with mobile phones' light to create different kind of pattern. it was interesting! then off we went to Yoshinoya, to have like meal though we have eaten way before. MAN!! i am going to put on alot of weight !!
Today started very sleepily.. like Richard have to call me like, 30 times on his house phone, then 6 times using his handphone.. and please note that they were just missed calls. He actually had to call me even when he is bathing in his toilet. Poor thing, but not really much choice because, he have a piggy darling, ( that was his usual complain) [ who ask him to choose me? ] i will usually say, [ well, this is me, take it or leave it] sounds like i have an attitude problem? not so.. ;)
i have alot of interesting classmates, let me introduce some to you,

this is IDA, she is a fun and talented girl, her makeup skill will just make you want to "wow!" and never feel like booing her.

My class is just cranky.. IDA!! Saya cinta kamu!! hahaz.. BUT as friend lahz.. because Saya Cinta Richard even more!! =)

Tell me about getting ill!!

2007-05-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

I am so upset!! The weather is like really bad, i dont know what actually is wrong, but i have been sick for 2 days already. Quite sad right? Not getting enough sleep is already something i havent been complaining because i find it no point, but now, feel like vomiting, fever and unwellness???
Never mind, i am strong, with Christ! i am going to be okay!
Okay, Tuesday, while i was digitising the tapes my group have been shooting recently, my mother called with enthusiasm on the phone asking me whether i am off school already, my answer was like, nope, and politely, i asked her why. She was like a little child, commenting the indonesian food near her office is awesome and she feel like eating, asking whether do i want to eat. Being still unwell and feeling stomach rolling up and down, i sort of said, dont think so, stomach not feeling too good. I sense her worry and disappointment, she propose we could have it another day and she hung the phone. I feel really bad, thus i called her saying, " you want to eat the indonesian food is it? " she replied, "yes! you want?" Hearing this, i had no heart to reject, i say, " okay loh, let's go and eat then." she was excited, just like a little girl being granted to eat mcdonald. Well, i am a fillial girl, dont you agree? =)
The food was not disappointing at all, the price, VERY EXPENSIVE!! and yet my mother was like, "wow, it is quite okay, only eighty plus. " provided 15% discount is included, it dont seems okay to me at all. However, i can see my mother's real intention was not anything about the money, but it was the time we as a family going out and having a nice dinner, spending some quality time together.
I am suppose to subsitute Thomas tomorrow because he is not free tomorrow for the shoot, provided i am suppose to wake up at 5.30am. I am not still currently awake at 3.11 am, what GREAT news is this?? I tried covering myself with my blanket and physco myself to sleep, but the urge of vomiting overwhelmed everything else, and guess what? i ran into the toilet and nothing came out. =( disappointing man.
Well, my dad says whenever i am not feeling well, my face writes it all out. Like today (Tuesday), i felt unwell and told Mr Boi that i want to leave earlier, he did not ask anything much and just said okay. Like, it is so easy, he just said okay. Amazing lecturer i have ya?

I WANT TO BE WELL!! I DONT CARE!!

=)

~sWeEt RoMaNcE~

Amazing!

2007-05-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

I have receiving my scholarship cheque le, it is $1,200 !! on top, my mother has just told me that i am allowed to use the $200, and save the remaining $1 thousand!
Well it is good enough for me already, at least she did not say only allow me to spend $20 right?
Yesterday i watched Stomp the Yard once more, but this time was in class, it has a story within the story, apart from all the dancing, it was how a person truly understand that when you are in a team, it will no longer be just about you, yourself, but the entire group of people. The love to finish what the late brother want to complete ( which was going to college) despite it was one thing he did not think he could ever make it, he done it. I nearly tear once more, however at that part, i turn to Fu er, and she was like making me laugh, tears naturaly roll back by themselves. Okay i am going to make a decision, if i ever want to have a good cry of a touching film, i am not going to sit with Fu er already. =) But if comedy, by all means, Fu Er, you can sit with me. =)
A thing that is good about my course is that, we are able to get in touch with all kinds of film, watching films are part of our module too, not only watching them but also evaluate the style of how they are shooting, the colors, the settings, camera angles too.
Some of us have big dreams to realise now,like some people want to be a animator, a editor, a producer, a singer, actor and etc.
One thing we are sure, if we really want to obtain those things, we need a lot of discipline to really study, get good grades, surpass all the rest, get into poly and then we are another step closer to our goal. Dont you agree?

Well, today is a special day! it is Kenrus and Nicole's Birthday, yes, their birthday is on the same day. Such a coincidence!
Today is also my 2 month anniversary with Richard! =) I thank God for him, because, when i am not feeling well, he would take care of me, when i am stress, he uses humor to make me smile, when i have mood swings, he understands me, instead of fighting or quarrelling, he would usually choose to hold onto me until i feel much better.
Thank you Chard!! i love calling you that when we are outside. But you are my dar, with God's blessing and Dorcas's, we can go really far, i am believing it, i know you too!
i simply <3 you! =)

However, my ultimate lover is not you, because NO ONE can surpass any love that i have for GOD!
other than Him, you are my most beloved! =)

I am blessed!

2007-05-16T05:03:00.000-07:00

I am really really blessed! i have uncountable blessings to thank God for!
1. I'm going as media team to hongkong, for my school's student seminar at HongKong. Provided i am only required to pay $150 only!
2. I'm been given a new MAC BOOK with webcam!! it is like so HIGH!! It costs like over $2K!
3. I will be rewarded a scholarship this Friday, 18 MAY 2007, at serangoon CC, although unsure of how much the amount will be, but it is still a great blessing!
God! without You, i will never even think about receiving so much!

The day i fell, You used not one, but both hands and helped me up. Telling me that, no matter what bad things i have done, and how the world has influence me, You dont care, just because i am Your beloved daughter, that is why you forgave me.

I am so touched by you! Thank you Lord once again! =)

2007-05-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

Love is a choice, NOT a feeling!! i totally agree.. if everything that we do are based on feeling, what a chaotic world it might become.. We choose to love our parents is the motivation to lead us on everyday, to stay and care for them..
Today i was at the bus stop waiting for bus to go out, i saw a few kids with their mother waiting there too, to go out and have fun maybe? there was not just one nor two, there were about three to four families.. it brought back my little memories, of my sister, my mother and me would use to dress up nicely even just for a trip to the market, my mother would have no problem to coaxed us to get changed, dressed up to go out. we were always being given the freedom to choice our clothes. she will just say, " girl, go and take the nice, nice t-shirt you like to wear. girl you want to wear shoes? the stocking very nice, you want to wear? the hat very cute, just bring along. where is your favorite sunglasses?? keep it nicely okay?" and yeah, my mother really does that, and during special occasions like Chinese new year, we will never miss out putting on make up, using my mother's lipstick, the big and red ones. I remember how silly i will be, like not wanting to close my mouth, i just scared that i will wet it, and it will be gone in no time. at that time i was also thinking, there is no way i am going to allow them to get close to my teeth, most certainly not my stomach please.
after all the preparation, we will then leave the house with sweets in our little bags and pockets, combs are not being left out! (it is not really that surprising, but we are quite vain even we were so so young) even if we really forgotten the comb, mummy will take out hers and start combing and letting us comb our hair. well.. my mommy wants us to go out looking good.
we seem to know car ride can make us really bored, and at that age, we will have afternoon naps and we were not needed to think as much as now, so sleeping in the car were not as exciting as now. yeah. anyway, we would either bring "old maid, snap .. etc" sometime daddy and mommy dont really want us to bring out, then it will be reversi, little portables and gameboy, but the super old that only have the car game and tetris, if none of these above, we will play with " chopstick. popeye the sailorman, vampire" Well, isnt childhood the best time to play around, really just playing fun? although we were not allowed to play at the playground downstair at my old house, but we had our own entertainment, such as playing our own "photo shoot", like tearing up alot of rough papers and throw them towards the fan to creat snowing effect, wearing our socks and gliding here and there, while the maid was scrubbing the kitchen floor, just wearing my shirt and gliding some more, taking out the tortises to let them have a "race" (they were so lazy, so the race was how long can they stay put) skipping with our skipping ropes and like try doing patterns with it for two purposes, one is to grow taller and the other is to kill time maybe? playing neighbour's rabbit, all kinds of things, and oh, oh, putting pepsi into our cups and placing them to make them into " pepsi ice" it is really good!
they are really fun and memorable experience! pear jie, if you read this, dont you agree? =)
As now time flies, we have grown up, mommy is starting to complain we are not spending too much time with her. especially me, it is because when i have proects, assignments and production in hand, i can bearly reach home by 8pm, let alone 7+pm, so sometime i could be like a whole week not eating at home, poor thing mommy, i love you, sorry ya? i will try to. the problem is, this kind of thing is beyond my control, but when i can, i will eat at home together with you ya? *muacks~* mommy, i have never told you how much i really love you, but i love you lots and lots and lots =)
okay, i think i shall end here =)
byebye

An experience that can never be forgotten

2007-04-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

i have been greatly blessed!! i went to join in for the congregation choir singing for Pastor Benny Hinn. The feeling is beyond words to be able to describe. I served for all 3 nights, and i never regret a single bit. The presence was strong, the anointing that the choir members keep getting, holy laughter, cries, applause, can you imagine and picture how awesome everything was?
It was just simply fabulous! the excitement still cant be like stop, in my little heart, blood vessels and everything! it is just like, the adrenaline just keeps on rushing up. the sights for these 3 nights really moved me to tears, there isn't a night when i will not cry. It is just amazing to see how people have so much faith and desire. of wanting to get healed and really believe in God's power.
A CHEAP trip to Israel? bring it on man!! come on! come on! =) hope it will come to pass!! i really want to go!! =)
For the Lord, He is God
For the Lord, He is God
And He shall live Forevermore!!

Jesus.Do you love girl like me? =)

2007-04-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

Just randomly have this little thought.
Jesus, do you like a girl just like me. Being someone who can be quite mischievous at times. Done all the bad things, like smoking, drinking, playing pranks, bad-mouthing people that i really hate. Judge people personally sometimes. A girl who once depised herself so much that ended up cutting her self and always blaming people.so that i feel like the wholoe owes me a living..
However, You were able to change me. Although i might not really perfect now in You, i am still trying my very best. You showed me that the world dont owe me a living, and that we are suppose to bring Your gospel and glory into this world. My background is being known by rarely alot of people, but everytime people knows them, it has never failed to shock them.. The change You made in my life is so tremendous, it could never have been able to express in words, nor actions.It is jsut purely a miracle. although times i might be rebellion, but NEVER ONCE You will reject me , not only that, You always embrace me back into Your warm arms, telling me how much You love me. Making me feel like a little baby, being cradled in Your arms, warming my heart and letting me know that You care, Thank you!! =)

A moment like this? =)

2007-04-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

hmm.. Easter week is over.. so are the 5 services. hahaz.. i went for all three days... but i only went in for 2 services. The First time and the Second time are all leaving me a huge impact and a deep impression. Although it was the second time i watched it today, i cried even more badly than the first time i watched it. It really sets me thinking, Jesus when you were doing miracles, healing sick, casting out demons and all other kind of good things, the people simply adore you.
However when you were being betrayed by Judas, the people wanted you to be crucified, shouting to kill you, and nail you to the cross. Your heart must had been painful, but because of Your Great Love for men, you still went up the cross, suffered the painful nailing, the flesh-tearing whipping on the way, carrying the cross and was even being mocked at not only for those who adore You, but also those who have turn their backs away from you, those who had doubts about You.
Your love is so great, i always thought i had been really nice and good to people. but everytime during Easter, i never fail to question what i am doing is it enough compared to Your great love. all these You have done for us, was not for any other benefits. a moment like this is worthy to be cherished, remember, and to hold it in our hearts deeply. That no matter how sometimes we feel that things are all rushing in ur way, attacking us, wanting to destroy us, no matter how big the problem might seem to be, there is no greater thing that the love and sactifice that God and Jesus have done and given to us.

GOOD FRIDAY and COOKED HAND

2007-04-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

hahahaz.. i have a scald and having blister de right hand.. by what? hahaz... MY FAVORITE STALL'S SPICY TOFU AND FISH BALL.. hahz.. not going to blame on anyone.. because the auntie was nice.. just got to blame my glutton mouth.. hahahaz.. as i asked for more soup then too greedy then the soup spilled on my poor little hand.. But never mind, mouth, i still will love you and use you to eat things de.. hahahahahaz... okay.. i am high. hahaz.. well although the earlier part of the day was bad, the later ones came and overturn the sad mood to really happy mood!! =) and oh oh... PUI MAN JIE, I REALLY HAVE TAKE CARE OF MYSELF LOHZ.. =( hahaz.. Though my fav is still people taking care of me.. hehez..

okay. down to earth now..

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today i went for the service.. TREMENDOUSLY well done!! * a round of applause for the drama team!!* i simply love the work of the make-up artist.. he/she made the devil really looked realistic and evil.. *applause!* i love the concept and the creative yet touching idea which they manage to bring forth to me.. i teared.. or rather really cried, i felt the pain of the suffering, it was as if, me being the one whipped,slashed. so heavy and so painful. i love the music, it brought my emotion along with it.. i can never stop describing how it awes me so much. I saw the guy who made me suffer for four years of my secondary school life, i never approach him. but i do sincerely hope the show touched him, and not him mocking and teasing about everything he sees today. God, you are my provider ya? and Your joy IS my strength. tomorrow i am going to have my first ever blood donation!! here i come MISSY!! please don't let me feel pain, i don't want to cry there.. it will be such embarrassing sight. i had fun playing concentration with MEL!! =) it was good!! M,J,R hahz.. today i was so forgetful until i left my money on the table and left house with a wallet which only consist my OM card and NRIC. hahaz.. blur me. but have no fear, cuz COUPON is here. the coupon enabled me to get food, drinks and have fun. cool right? =) awesome!

the bottomline, I AM SO HAPPY JESUS RESURRECTED!! although there are temptation we think that they are too great to be handled, howver once i remember how He had to suffer and die on the cross for us, my heart started to melt, with such great love, i can never bear to leave Him.

Just like how the Korean mother were willing to stripe herself including her undergarments in such a cold winter, just in order to save her baby boy, to survive and grow, she was being frozen to death, but i know, when she made the decision she will never regret, because the love a mother has for her own child, is greater any other obstacles in life. All of us will become a parent one day, have we ever ask ourselves that if we are stuck in such a situation, will we be like the mother who sacrifice her ownlife for the life of her child, or will we just abandon the baby and run for our own life only. yes, many people will say that they will do what the mother did, but who knows, when the day finally comes, will we still do what we said out so easily?

worth a thought ya? =)

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-tea was here-

You have to identify your own style!

2007-04-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

True enough like what Rev. Mark Connell has mentioned.. we need to identify our style.. He talked about 5 different kind of style/ ways to connect to God.
1. Contemplative style..
-people who like nice, peaceful/ quiet environment.. ( Solitude environment)
2. Intellectual style
-people who like to study the bible, enjoys when their mind being stretch and really go into deep thoughts.
3.Serving style
-People who are able to feel the presence of God the strongest when they are serving people with their gifts and abilities.
4.Relational style
-People who are more comfortable when they are with others. Their favorite quote would be, "when twos and threes are gathered together......"
5. Charismatic style.
-People who really needs to see and feel to believe.

well, well.. my top 2 are actually Serving and Relational style... hahaz... dont ask me why.. just feel that it is like that.. for a great purpose i guess.. hahz..

i am actually quite tired recently.. productions, projects are coming to me in a WAVE! hahaz.. stress and phsically drain i may be but when i actually give some deep thoughts to it, it is actually being my platform to my future.. meeting different kinds of people, some are temperamental, some are emotionally quite low, some have BIG heart some have heart that cant even seems to be able to squeeze in a five cent coin. wow.. the great ups and downs man...

But, HEYS you know something?? i not only have a great big Daddy God right behind me, i have people around me cheering me on!! so it makes everything just looks not as bad. yea.. Friends. sometime they can be your chocolate and candy bars.. bringing simple sweetness, caffine, energizing you.. but sometimes when things happen, something sweet can also be quite hot to handle, as pain as asking you to eat raw bitter gourd and drinking a whole jar of chilli sauce without any help of water.. Eew.. hahaz.. forgive me.. just something that i am like thinkinng.. hahaz..

well well.. i shall end here.. hahaz

~jas was here~ =)

A task so hard to complete??

2007-03-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

Let me as you a simple question, is finishing a project so hard? taking a short film so hard? just put some make-up on so that the "gay" character can really be acted out so hard? are these super-high- touch- the-sky- kind of expectations? it is not lahz...

we today have to start shooting our film is because, our deadline is this friday!! yes!! it is our DEAD-LINE. if we dont hand in on that day, we will be totally dead... T-H, R , and me are like super super stress.. or maybe is more of me and T-H.. all because of our " wonderful" group.. everything was just about to turn good, then now, we put make-up on W-L today, as he is supppose to be the gay in the film that our group is doing for our project. then i was just getting happy about about the make-up. He cried lohz.. we even had to pacify him, we asked him about his decision whether he still want to continue acting, he came out with this answer, " i dont want to, but i dont wish to see my other team mates to suffer the same thing as me." like, what the??? like we force him to shoot, and accusing me for the make-up??? i mean, the make-up was being stated the very first day when we brainstorm the idea for the project le.. now then you tell me.. he still was like, " Jas, why must put make-up? cannot do without make-up mehz?" i mean please lahz.. you are going into this kind of industry, you need to be flexible and able to accept things la.. wa.... i still love W-L as a friend, but same case for J-H, i can be friends with you... but next time in doing project?? NO way!! and that P is another fellow.. ARGH.. dont say le.. i mao yan le.. Whatever..

*although i say so much, i still love my class..

God, i leave all these things in Your Loving hands.

Tis is dedicated to my beloved popo

2007-02-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

I've never been the one to raise my hand

That was not me and now that's who I am

Because of you, I am standing tall.

My heart is full of endless gratitude

You were the one, the one to guide me through

Now I can see and I believe

It's only just beginning.

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you proud.

Stronger than I've ever been now

Never been afraid of standing out

But do I make you proud.

Everybody needs to rise up

Everybody needs to be loved

To be loved.
This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you proud, do I make you proud.

The only question is, do I make you proud.
Stronger than I've ever been now

Never been afraid of standing out

Is do I make you proud

Do I make you proud

Popo i believe you are in good hands now, because i believe with all my heart and soul that you are with Daddy God in heaven, watching over us. Although my heart have a large part hating you have left us but then again, i am also happy you are off from medications, jabs, breathing aid, pains from all the joints, heard from Clarice that she saw you crying a couple of times.. i think it is the misery you have to pull through of your health condition, but rest assure, all these are over. today we clelbrated uncle James and aunty Suzie's birthdays, we saw the video clip being done by Karen to you, it was beautiful, all teared.. this year's chair only had one for Gong gong, it seems really really empty... i cried, because i miss you.. this song touched my heart really deeply.. and YES!! you made me really PROUD that you are my popo. Your sacrificial giving is carved into my heart, no matter how limited my heart might be, there will always be a VERY VERY BIG territory marked just for you!! WO HEN AI HEN AI POPO NI!!! you once said if i have no one to love me, or no boys want me, you would want me, i always remember that, you must also remember that ya? i will go and accompany you whenever i have the time... i will learn and work very hard.. i will compose a song just for you!! =) i want you to see all my achievements! YOU WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE!!!

<3 ? nah.. think i have enough friends and God to love me le..

2007-02-03T21:07:00.000-08:00

okay. seeing people having boyfriends and stuff does get me to envy them and longs for one too.. but, however, i ponder, will that longing ever turn into a desperation? i dont want to be desperate looking for one... Jess jie said something that i find quite true.. she say," sometiemes the more you try searching for your that so called "Mr Right" you will be searching in vain.. when it is your time, it will come no matter what" hahaz.. Dont you all agree? i am tired of getting in to and out of relationship.. it is just taxing.. including if you get hurt in it, you need time to recover too.. it is not healthy at all..

i am tired of hearing people saying, "wow, they are so sweet, i hope my boyfriend can be like that too." " why cant my boyfriend be as caring as others?" i mean, i rather people envy me then i have to envy them right? a relationship have to go through some trials and tribulation to show the bond the two person have to pull them stronger in love and overcoming problems together isn't it? i'm waiting for my Mr Right and healing the wound which had been teared open again and again..

Most of the time people sees my cheerful moments, but only God sees my tears that i cried now and then when i feel the pain.. Love can be sweet and hurting sometimes.. only when both felt treasured then it can be successful, among them, trust, beliefs , communications cannot be exiled.. if not all it might bring could be simply pain, scars and hurt.. Love is not as easyas we think.. the honeymoon period can have so called an "expiry date" but ultimately is still the commitment you have for each other that really matters.. don't you think so?

Though sometimes i do ask God why can't i have someone to love me now? like until the very breath of mine, because i longs for a true love.. but then to think again.. i might as well just keep focusing on Him, and who knows? the greatest man might just come into my life when the time is right.. hahaz..

God, No Longer I who Lives But Christ That Lives In Me!!

=)

What love can be greater than my Heavenly Father's Agape Love?
Nothing, simply nothing..

Lalalalaz

2007-01-28T05:42:00.000-08:00

hahahhaz.... i utterly Blessed!!! hahaz.... Pastor/Dr A.R.Bernard's messages really touched my heart.. ya.... He said that the things that gets your response, gets your attention.. i think it is really very true.... if we do not care about the certain thing, we would not even bother to give any reaction/ response right? it is so true and simple, however the more simple the matter might be.. we tend to just overlook it.. hmmm... is it human tendency or we just simply choose to ignore? i guess, it is the people's mindset afterall. Agree? =)

well, one thing Pastor mentioned was that, we can only trust in God's Value of us.. because, humans' valuing scale are mostly determined/ function more on emotionally basics.. when the person is happy, you might get a higher value.. when the person is in a bad mood, sometimes you will ended up with a lower value.. no wonder sometimes people usually say that humans (especially women) are very emotional beings... hahaz.. well, at least i know one thing, no matter how the world can always put the value on me, i will only trust in God's value of me.. hahaz.. i am worthy.. =)

today's message was more like we need to be clear that, even though we are in the world, we are NOT OF the world. in the bible, the tabernacle had an ark which contained the Ten Commandments.. but now, no longer just a physical church, we are actually the temple of the Holy Spirit,, we should also have the Ten commandments in our lives.. we need to be able to stand upright before God when the judgement day comes.. agree? =)

i have alot of things to learn, master and put them into good use.. i want to be able to use what i have learn to help others.. sometimes we might just never know what others are thinking.. ahahahz.. ignore my last sentence.. they are just thoughts that run through my head...

P.S Daddy God, i want to let you know that I love You not becase i have to, But because I WANT TO.

~my ever precious Father in Heaven!~

i <3 PV0701B and.. i HATE THAT J**K

2007-01-16T04:57:00.000-08:00

okay... i LOVE my new class!! it is political-free.. it has funny, passionate, hardworking, people who knows how to study as hard as they play! It is SIMPLY awesome lahz... the class can simply just go for break together.. sitting at the same table.. while competing who eats the fastest.. amazing eh? hahaz...

it is just second week of class and guess what? some of us already got our nicknames le.. hahaz.. i'm being called the smurf( ALL THANKS TO THAT MR BOI and Berwin).. i call Berwin as NO WIND.. hahahahaz.. then i just as well call Fu er as ah ma.. hahahz... then Wi Liang is being called as walking dustpan.. hahahz... let me explain to you why okay? you dont have a choice anyway.. muahahahahaz..
(dont you dare to press that red X button)

today, Wi Liang, Reza,Gwen and me have to do lab duty after our Comp Graphics then Gwen and i was being assigned to sweep the floor.. who knows? that there was only a dustpan without handle.. to be helpful to us girls, he used his legs to clamp the dustpan for us to sweep the dirt and rubbish in.. so i might as well just call him as "walking dustpan" hahahahahz... the saddest and the funniest part is when we were almost done and him being the dustpan for like 5 over minutes, Sir Ton(one of our lecturer) brought out a few dustpans with handles then Wi Liang totally sian diao.. so fuuny lahz.. hahhaz.. cannot make it.. Gwen and i laugh until really hard lahz.. hahahz..

i tired le.. hahahz... byebye

clearing the cobwebs and blahx of rubbish? =)

2007-01-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

okay... i havent been blogging since... let me see.. December 15????!!!! that is like ultra long.. hahahz... okay.. sorry to bloggy.. because of what i know of, not much people really view and tag lohz.. haiz.. hahahz...

let me just try to blog out everything i can remember ya? =)

hmm... Monday..
i went Kbox with Jiejin ah ma, Yvonne, Huiying and Patrick... celebrated Patrick's birthday.. He enjoyed!! well, we were simply nuts!! we started singing around 3 maybe.. then guess what time we finish singing????? 10++ nearly 11pm can??? like so late lahz... hahaz... the most amazing part is, JIEJIN ACTUALLY SANG CAN?? HAHAHAHAHHAHAZ... it was simply, SPECTACULAR sight.. hahahahz...

next, Tuesday..
i went to eat breakfast with my parents!! see??? i am a fillal daughter okay?? hahaz... they also sort of came into my room for alot of times just to wake me up.. hahhaz...then, i went to meet jiejin,kenrus and Patrick... we went to eat minced pork noodle.. it was nice!! but i couldnt finish.. so Kenrus helped me to finish the rest of my food.. such a good "daddy" ya?? hahaz..then we went shopping!! hahahz... my mama sponsored me $150 to buy new year clothings.. hahhaz.. so went to check it out.. hehehz.. so blessed!! we shop til like 7+? then went home. we were VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY TIRED!! yup... we were!!

Wednesday
i went for my dental appointment.. hahahaz... so happy!! another 3 months, goodbye braces!! and Hello retainer!!hhehehz...

Thursday,
i went Bras basah to collect my mama's medicine then went to see suhaili, as in, her work place.. the ice cream there is like marvellous lahz!! hahaz.. shall go there and eat more.. hahahz..

Friday,
i went to my school, SIMEI ITE and paid my first term course fee.. and bought my uniform.. was ex!! but i like them.. hahaz.. then off i went to see Miss Wati.. bought her Lollipops.. hahaz.. also in hope to see other teachers.. but too bad.. no chance.. they had meeting and stuff so like.. very sad!! i then went home to charge the digital camera as Kenrus ask me to bring.. after that, i went to meet cellgroup people for dinner.. it was fu.. and Jiejin is a PRO in pool!! super PRO lohz... never mess with her man.. hahahz...

Saturday!!
i went service!! it was awesome!! was tired as i went GYM before that!! so cool!! hahaz... burnt fats again!! i'm loving it!! =) okay .. i am done with blogging for now!!

TAKE CARE~

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM................

2006-12-15T01:07:00.000-08:00

okay, my days which i havent been blogging was fun..

firstly on Monday, after work , i went to Jowell to eat Sakae... we ate extremely little( which was a miracle to me, cuz i usually dont eat, i just gorge on them)

okay, MISS JOWELL OEI ME LOHZ... SO REALLY MUST UPDATE.. wahahahaz.. so short liaoz, give her oei, later i become shorter how?? tell me?? hahaz...

win liaoz, i am crapping and talking rubbish once again! =) anyway, i seems to have become insane like ever since -you-know-what-happened.. so ya.. bear with me people, bear with me..

i have been a bad girl today, i admit.. i drank 2 full glasses of Martell.. just felt like it, so drank with my dad... but obviously my drinking skills have weaken since i haven been drinking for a year or so.. ya lohz... so i am also not sure whether is it a good sign anot.. hahaz.. crazy me ya? dont you think so??

oh well... i think i am just tired of being so guai and stuff.. and decided i shall drink abit.. cuz well, i am afraid of the outcome of my result like tomorrow.. or rather today, because now is already 12.26am..

ANYWAY, let's just talk about 13/12/06 ba... i went to Jowell's birthday, bbq, party.. had fun!! lots of them actually... ever since 21/11/06.. after the breakup.. this have been the most enjoyable day... hahahz... although, being asked by some of them where is him and stuff, the wrose part would be memories being brought up once again after so long.. or rather, i have never let go... haiz...

God, help me!! please!! i need Your strength! You pulled me through from so many problems.. God help me to pull through this situation as well!!

I'm broken... i feel tired.. i need strength to carry on..

2006-12-05T17:18:00.000-08:00

okay... i admit that i am leaning on my own strength and effort no wonder i felt so tired and drained... wearing back a mask seems so much easier than showing the real me after like so so long..putting a front which most people dont know felt so much "fitting in". well.. i am tired of all these le... but the word 'Pride' just keep hindering me..

Kenrus had broke the fear, anger, hatred and pride by not confronting me with just my flaws but being covered with prayer.. indeed as he said, "Salt is salty" well.. i am going to embark on a whole new christian life... maybe not really from the scratch.. at least is around the basic and for me to be able to have a clearer and newer vision of what i should do now... the year 2006 is coming to an end.. i wanna be a renewed person to welcome 2007... I will always remember what sis.Dorcas said, " always remember that whatever you do, you are serving God and not man..always know why the reason you do things... your focus should be God and if you realise you end up doing things because YOU want to and no longer GOD wants to,then that is the wrong purpose and focus already."

think i shall end here for now.. =D i will be fine!!

it is all over..

2006-11-27T01:03:00.000-08:00

Hey people!! i think some might not know.. but we are over... totally over and done with..
reason?? hmmm...i think that we both feel and know we are not right for one another.. and that is all.. yup!! dont worry ya? i am okay le.. it was quite hard to let go, i admit.. but i believe what you have to do, you just have to do it that's all.. well... God is our HEALER!!
YA !! I BELIEVE HE NOT ONLY CAN HEAL OUR ILLNESSES, HE CAN HEAL OUR EMOTIONS AND HEART TOO!! =D

GOD, I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! YOU HAVE HEALED ME.. THANK YOU MY LORD!!

Seriously, after the break-up, i felt so much lighter.. hmm.. but it was still the memories i cant really forsake.. i suddenly miss pui man alot.. the times she cared for me, times we were being lame.. and her scolding me for not taking care of myself in a comical way.. hahaz.. but owell... i still get to see her once in a while lahz.. still not bad.. hahahz....

wei told me that at this period of time, i need a helping hand to pull me through, to carry on..
i think it is true.. and i told her, " even if one day, i really find that i dont have the strength to go on, i will always know that i have a group of people who i know will keep supporting me.."
yup.. =D

2006-11-09T23:03:00.000-08:00

I WILL SING
I WILL WORSHIP YOU
I WILL BOW MYSELF DOWN
HUMBLY AT YOUR THRONE
I WILL GIVE ANYTHING
I WILL GIVE EVERYTHING TO YOU ALONE

I LONG TO BE THE BRIDE THAT YOU'RE RETURNING
FOR DRESSED IN GARMENT WHITE AND WRINKLE FREE
I HAVE NO EARTHLY LOVE THAT I AM HOLDING TO
FOR YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME

YOU ARE THE FAITHFUL GOD
WHO KEEPS YOUR COVENANT
THERE'S NOT ONE THING
YOU'VE SAID YOU HAVEN'T DONE
AND SOMEDAY WHEN I SEE YOU
STANDING FACE TO FACE
MY PRAISE FOR YOU WILL ONLY HAVE BEGUN

this song flooded my very mind...it was the song that Elaine sang when she was 12 years old when she had her consecration.. once she sang at my house, when she taught my sister and i guitar and slept over at our house that night.. she nearly cried.. i felt something in my little tiny heart.. that was the first time.. when my heart decide to open further to allow God to really intercede in my life..
the next time i heard this was last week's cellgroup during worship.. sis. Dorcas, or rather, dorcas.. she read out the lyrics to us.. i cried.. that has became my longing, deep within my soul.. i always have been doing things in my own way and manner thinking i am doing for Him.. but in true fact i dont want to listen to what He has for me.. i am afraid to take up responsiblity.. i am also afraid of not doing well enough to please Him.. it was very torturing... but i refuse to admit it.. but this song melted my heart, and reminded me of His greatness, the wonderful thing He have done in my life, letting me to live, letting me have alot of things, blessings and friends and family.. i am ready to fight this fight... i know as i have decided to type this sentence, attacks are on their way, but i am a child of God, and if enemies come attacking me, i know my God would let them flee in 7 different directions, i will pull through!! =D

I ENJOY GOING GYM!!

2006-11-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

Gym,gym,gym,gym and more gym pleaseeeee!! hahahz
I simply just love going to gym!! why?? because, i can shed fats!! hahahz..
I LOVE THE TREADMILL!! it helped lose the most calories, comparing to the other equipments that i tried.. wahahahz... okay forgive my craziness.. there are a few causes.. firstly.. i am in office now, skiving.. cuz there is really nothing to do.. (T_T )secondly, i went to a gym at Redhill with Da kor for the very first time.. and i enjoy it alot!! i long to exercise but had no companion , determination nor motivation.. but now there is da kor!! and his choir i/c, Frankie!! hahaz.. yeah.. and i thank God that i am a student!! =D even though the price is just cheaper by one dollar.. but it is good enough.. i can buy.. hmm. what can i buy??.. erm, newspaper?? mentos?? haiya, in short, i can still do quite alot of things with it.. whahahaz...

OH LORD, MY GOD
ALL I DESIRE IS YOU
OH LORD, MY GOD
ALL I DESIRE IS YOU

MORE PRECIOUS THAN SLIVER
MORE COSTLY THAN GOLD
NO RICHES ON THE EARTH COMPARES TO YOU
AND WHAT CAN THIS WORLD OFFER
WHEN ALL I DESIRE IS YOU

AND WHAT CAN THIS WORLD OFFER
WHEN ALL I DESIRE IS YOU

Provoked!!!!!

2006-11-02T23:49:00.000-08:00

So what if i am a Christian?? i am proud of my belief!! and that is me, if you dont like it, just get out of my sight!! i believe, i have never step into your boundary nor religion, so as a form of fairness, cant you just live my religion alone.. in the past ten over months, you and ___ and the whole bunch have been trying to discriminate me.. i already lie low, as what _________ has suggested.. but why cant you leave me alone?! now is school holiday, and i was enjoying it, you were the one who viewed me in friendster, not me.. i am not that free anyway, must you send such insulting bulletine to me?? You are nothing so great you know?? think by insulting christianity, able to gain popularity to yourself? just stop dreaming.. face reality.. all the rest just like enjoying a clown making a fool out of himself.. please wake up.. you are really not that smart..
to TIFFANY, i dare to mention your name.. let's make it clear, you have always been the irritating one.. cant you just try noticing your surrounding? so what most of my friends are christians, at least we share a dream, we have visions and dreams that we strive to obtain.. it definitely beats you just playing WOW all the time, and calling me a bitch right?? wanna say so much about me, mention my name, and we will make it "FUN" trust me.. dont keep thinking that you need attention.. sometimes making so much unneeded noises/ comments only invites irritation.. i wont be like you and put that i will advise you.. because this is a true fact!!
********************************************
for people who read this.. sorry if it sounded not me, just need to let it out, so angry at what some of my classmates have commented.. made my blood boil.. but i am okay.. hahahz.. I AM PROUD THAT I AM A CHILD OF GOD, NOTHING IS GONNA CHANGE THE FACT!!

my crying day

2006-10-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

hmm... call me a crybaby if you want.. hahaz.. cuz i kept crying yesterday.. in case they state the date wrongly, i mentioning 21 october 2006, saturday.. well, before i go into that, hmm.. my coughing is still on..*cries* i hate coughing, medicine not helping much lohz.. *hpmh*
anyway, yesterday, i woke up early in the morning, feeling so sleepy and everything.. my daddy woke me up to help my mom change bedsheet.. i dreaded it.. i was mumbling "why me??" hahaz.. at last i still helped my mom, and guess what, i went to make a spectacle.. and it cost, $138.. great sum, so expensive.. T_T and my mom is paying for me, i felt so bad that i told her, after i get my pay i want to half the cost with her.. and of course, she rejected me.. and yesterday morning, she told me that my spects will be for my birhtday gift.. and i was like"wow!! $138 for my birthday gift?! great blessing!!" but little did i know, she gave me a sliver necklace with a nice three color small precious stones.. and the chain itself already costs $200++, my heart dropped.."wow!! it is like so amazing, first i get a $138 specs as birthday girt and now, this?! i am not only blessed.. i am VERY VERY BLESSED!!" hahaz.. then my daddy gave me $10, i went in my room put my money and went in to the kitchen, i felt my jeans de back pocket very "stuffed" so i put my hand in seeing what i have in there, and i found $20!! at first i thought it is the money my daddy gave me, then i realised that it was actually no.. i'm like,"wow, now i have extra $30!! hahaz.. wow..
i then went out to meet GraceT, yeps, she is back.. hahaz.. i did not like my top, so i went to hunt for a new one at TM, and well i found, it was so so nice, and costs $18 only.. hahaz.. so happy, most importantly, it makes me look slim.. wahahahaz..
then it was service, it felt short, but it was definitely meaningful, i realised Pastor said one thing that was so important, if we only look for supernatural in the spectacular, we will miss God.. yup.. and God, i dont wanna miss YOU okay... never ever.. because i want to be with you...
hmm.. then after service.. we fellowshipped!! hahz. i played with Kenrus guitar, and then the urge of crying overwhelmed me.. i hugged mel and cried really hard..thank you mel for being my huggable and sweet sister.. then i hugged annabelle and cried too..hahaz.. then i felt a bit better le.. hahaz...
Huiying, yvonne's friend came down.. she stay at amk so she took the same bus with us, as she is a new friend, obviously GraceQ will send her home.. so i alighted at sister Dorcas house de bus stop alone... it was so quiet and i got afraid, so i called Jiejin, and i couldnt hold it anymore... i cried in the phone, because i was so scared..
there is something which i never tell anyone before.. i am afraid to be alone in the dark.. i cannot stand being alone.. that was why i cried, sweet Jiejin pei me on the phone until i got on the bus and reach home, not only that, she even make me laugh, to cheer me up, Kenrus too, hahaz... THANK YOU KENRUS AND JIEJIN!!! hahaz..
i am grateful..
see?? told you i was crying and crying.. hahaz.. that's all.. bye

illegal using computer..

2006-10-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

i am illegally using computer in the office.. hahaz.. boss went out to meet client.. only left my mom, auntie michelle and me.. hahaz.. well well they are busy.. i'm ... slacking.. hahaz.. not feeling well due to the haze.. haiz.. coughing and coughing and blowing my nose away..tao yan la.. the few things i hate, coughing is definitely on the list.. everytime without fail.. whenever i get cough.. i will cough until as if my lungs will be cough out by me anytime.. hahaz.. scary.. and tiring.. hahaz... i think i scared my boss with all the sneezing and the coughing.. hahaz.. so mean of me manz.. hahaz..

*cough, cough* i am skiving away.. hahaz.. lalalz..

working life.. unique

2006-10-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

can you all believe it?? i am actually working lahz!! hahaz.. have been working in my mama's office for 4 days le.. and just lidat, i earned $160.. hahaz... nice la..decided that i shall continue working until like december..i am working in my mama's office.. hmm.. time really flies there!! like i was just busy typing invoices, credit notes, faxing document, counting log list, doing fax transmission and then it is time to knock off le.. hahaz.. the best thing is, i get a NETT PAY.. because, my mom literally takes care and pay for my transportation and all my meals.. a benefit in working with your mama in the same company eh? hahaz..

today's cellgroup was good.. i cried for almost the entire worship.. (i'm living for more than just me! nothing's gonna change that, no one's gonna change that!!)wahahaz.. i think that's all ba.. now is like just 12.02am.. feels early.. whahaha

why??!! WHY ALWAYS LIDAT???!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

i dont understand, every year the same thing happens over and over again.. everytime near my birthday something ought to occur.. i hate it alot!!i got so upset, i left without fellowshipping with them,using the excuse of tiredness.. , ran towards the busstop, board on a cab and headed straight home.. then mel called, tears were welling up in my eyes, my heart started aching, when i put down the phone, i cant help but letting the tears to flow down.. my mom was at home, she wondered why was i home earlier than usual, she saw my red eyes, asked whether i cry, i dont wish to share it with her, so i blamed it on he haze..
this year i was finally looking forward for my birthday.. but now.. forget it.. i have left nothing to look forward to.. unknowingly my heart shattered.. not because no one care.. it is just that i never knew how to tell.. well just to really start with, birthday became just like a normal day to me, since i was in secondary one.. hahaz...
just cried abit.. but i should be fine.. .
dont feel like blogging le.. bye

well.. moody...

2006-10-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

well.. remember my previous, previous post, i wrote a love letter to myself? today i am going to write it again.. but it is for my mom and dad..just need to release all my feelings.. although i know about 101% they wont get the chance to see this but i still wanna write here..

hi mummy , i hate it when i see how you treat me and jiejie.. the difference.i hate feeling neglected or rather at lost of what to do..i hate seeing you always tries to help jiejie do things even thoughwe know that jiejie might not even notice. i hate the times when you will just say jiejie is busy and i have to help finish her work, even though you all know that it means doubling my workload.i hate the memories of, during her examination she can simply just sleep and study and i have to cover all her chores, while now she is already in poly and i am only having my N level exam , i not only need to do my part, but sometimes you all make me do her chores as well..
i feel so hurt when everytime when jiejie able to get away with it, i have to be the victim, i am also very hurt when sometimes things are spoilt, without asking the culprit will be me.. even though sometimes is not.. i am hurt when even we know that jiejie is calculative, i am always the way who have to give in.. is it because i am the youngest? i dont feel that it is fair, why she can just simply say i am sick, and she can get the money to seed octor while even when i am having fever, all i can do is just eat some panodol and hope that it will subside by its own.
i am afraid i will never reach your expectations, i am afraid that you will love me lesser than jiejie, i am afraid you will be as bias as in the past, the only jiejie is right but i will always be the one you doubt, i am so scared that i will never been able to be within your attention, all your world will just revolve around jiejie, the fears within me never decreased but everyday it increases,the pain within i bear is seriously cant be seen.
i am sorry for being a bit temperamental, but that is because of stress in school, i am sorry that sometimes i can get easily irritated too..i will change for the better, mummy i promise you.. but mummy i also want you to know that i love you,, I LOVE YOU ALOT thank you for being my mummy..
with lots of love,
jasmine, your daughter

well, nasia ask me to do this survey

2006-10-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Jasmine Lim
Birth date: 30 October 1990
Current status: Attached
Eye colour: either black or i dont know, why dont you tell me?=)
Hair colour: should be black ba.. at least that was the color i last dyed.. hahaz
Righty or Lefty: right handed.
Zodiac Sign: Scropio
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE.
Your heritage: ??
Your fears: worry about my studies, his safety and my friends' well-being
Your weaknesses: low self esteem
Your perfect pizza:extra cheese please!!
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither, because i dont like nor drink coffee
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: No
Curse: Dont have
Take a shower: yup
Have a crush: i am happily attached
Think you've been in love:hmm.. weird question, i am!=D
School: yup
Want to get married: YES
Believe in yourself: sometimes
Think you're a health-freak: hmm..nope
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Drank alcohol: Never
Gone to the mall: think i did.. did i?? hahaz
Been on stage: no,stage fright
Eaten sushi: i did!! i did!! =P
Dyed your hair: exam.. haiz..
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER?
Played a stripping game: NEVER
Changed who you were to fit in: did it before.. but i wasnt happy
LAYER EIGHT
Age you're hoping to be married: 23!!
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY.
Best eye colour: Hazel
Best hair colour: Not sure
Short or long hair: depends
LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 minute ago: doing this survey
1 hour ago: surfing net
4.5 hours ago:still surfing net
o1 month ago: hmmm..not sure
1 year ago: playing??
LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I love: God,Nasia, him, N161, mel, wei, belle ,jiejin, GraceQ and Sister Dorcas
I feel:neglected by love one
I hate: being fat.
I hide: my emotions(sometimes) from people.
I miss: Zac!
I need: God.
LAYER TWELVE: TAG 5 PEOPLE
number one: Andy
number two: xiao wei
number three: melissa
number four: pearly
number five: brendan

help me!!

2006-10-02T02:34:00.001-07:00

help me!!! me tagboard is like gone.. any good soul can help me do?? andy, my faithful blog reader, can help me?? hahaa... if can just call me thanks!!

lalala.. another simple post.. hahaz..

2006-09-28T06:26:00.000-07:00

okay.. left with another 3-4 days to my 'N'.. AHHHHHH!!!! so stressful la.. *cries* hmm.. i need the strength nehz.. it is starting to wear me out le.. i am tired.. really tired.. Thank you Brendan!! for reminding me that when i am weak, God is strong, He is my feet when i cant go on!! i really thank God for this N161 big family.. i think if it wasnt for every single member and people in my life, in the cellgroup, i might not be able to be where i am today, like if sis. Dorcas never start to really disciple me and let me participate in cellgroup, feeling i am a part of it, i will never know i wil i still be in this cellgroup, if GraceQ and da kor haven started to change me and scold me when i am not in the right track , i might have done everything wrong and eventually backslide.. if Mel, haven appear, i would stil be unstable and have constant emotional breakdowns leading to emotional shut down maybe.. hahz.. if brendan haven be in my life, who knows whether will i still choose to stand strong for God.. hahaz.. if Elaine hadnt be a part in my life, dont think i will ever get the chance to even pick up guitar in the first place let alone the thought of ever becoming a guitarist.. wow... that is like so so so so cool.. hahax..
Let me write a letter to myself using the emotional map ba.. hahaz..
Dear jasmine,
why you been such a insensitive freak? i find you so stupid always looking out for people's problems, yet why you never ever look in to yourself? dont you know you are not as super you might think you are? i am so hurt when i see you being bury in not only your problems but other people's problem, sometime when you really cant hold on, all you do is just breaking down alone in te dark and cold room of yours, crying silently on the bed, sometimes even pondering what are the things which actually cause you to tear..i am so upset when i see you keep thinking what you are not doing well enough even when people always tell you how wonderful and how great you are..the fact you chooses to deny yourself.i am so afraid that one day you will just choose to give up on everything and make wrong decisions causing your path to be as scattered as in the past, i am afraid that the darker side of you will once again come back.
i am sorry i have been pushing you to improve so much, more than what you actually can cope with, i am sorry that i always compare you with the people around you, especially your cousins, friends and family, about how clever they are and more..i hope you can start to look on the brighter side of you, i hope you can just do your very best in every way, let us believe that when you do your best God will take care of the rest, okay?i love you Jasmine, i love you just as you are,you dont have to be someone else just to please anyone, because God and i love you just as you are..
with love from God and i..
Jasmine

STRESS PERIOD

2006-09-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

too bad we cant see tears on the bloggy.. cuz i wanna cry.. so stress.. =( NEXT MONDAY, MY 'N' STARTING LE..=( haiz.. so stress.. in my dictionary now is just, stress, stress, stress, stress and more stress.. even thouh anabelle, ivan and mel told me that N is just like a minor exam, but i super stress... hmm.. i think the next sentence i say will bring me alot of people who will talk to me.. i am mostly going ite after my N le.. i have just decided .. my parents are supporting me for it.. not that i dont wish to put in effort.. but it is just something which i dont feel much confident to doing, just imagine i am so stress just for my N, how about when i take 'O', i think i will faint.. Crazy... hahaz....

maybe i should just go and check out how are the courses like.. hahaz.. yup, i think i should man.. hahaz.. okay.. i shall go and check now.. hahz. BYE~

keeping my bloggy alive

2006-09-24T02:08:00.000-07:00

hmmm... okay... trying to keep the blog alive as what andy has suggested.. wahahaz.. i am now at cineleisure level 9 there... not doing alot of stuff just slacking maybe?? hahaz.. .i refuse to stay at home because one of the reason is that my parents are playing mahjong with my relative at my house..another?? dont feel like mentioning it... hahaz...

Yesterday's service was so sweet la.. i was so touched i nearly cry and misses him lots more la.. hahaz.. benjamin was so funny, he and his nonsense, what "no link", "out of point" so crazy la.. hahaz.. lamer.. he was sitting beside me, then when all married couples are exchanging their vows again, he went like, " oooh, so sweet!! romantic!!" i was laughing at him all the way la.. hahaz...
I MISS JIEJIN ALOT!! hahaz.. even though i see her every week.. hahaz.. guess what? i introduced Miss Swan to Grace Quek.. she is being driven crazy by her.. hahaz...
okay shall blog more another time.. hahaz

he left le..went back to aussie.. now i am waiting for him

2006-09-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

okay.. so many people comment on my font size say cannot see.. so now onwards i will use the normal size okay? hahaz.. he left singapore once again.. on 08 september he left lohz... unforgettable. cuz all because of him i had to wake up at 6++ in the morning on holiday lohz.. reached his house around 6.44am.. was tired la.. but have no choice mahz.. we will be apart for another 3 months nehz.. who were there? only his aunt, him and me.. hahaz.. so few right?? but still okay lahz.. he so funny lahz.. at the last moment then reluctant to go liao.. we didnt cry, we just hugged and he gave a light kiss on my cheek.. he now have been there for a week liaoz.. still have to wait so long for his returns.. unfair lah.. he wont be able to be here for my birthday, but i must be with him for his birhtday, cuz he will be back ... but i think i dont mind.. cuz the important thing is about spending quality time together right? hahaz...

now, since he is not physically here with me, i shall put all my focus on my exams, N level..haha.. it is not like when he is here i cant la.. but then i will want to spend time going out with him you see.. as our leaders always say, must always place your priority right.. so studies should come first right? Lynette and i are okay le.. cleared the air, decided to start everything anew.. hahaz.. i think maths are quite tough still but yeah!! Nagulan agrees to coach me.. hahaz.. in my maths and science.. what can be more bless then having a group of people who we are sure that they will stand by us when we are in need and share the joy with us.. well i know my cg people will always be ever-ready to coach me in studying and help me solve things that i am in doubt of.. agree?? i am being guided by alot of wonderful leaders.. they do things beyond their own duty, if you need a listening just pick up your phone, ring a number and you will get it.. when you are in lack of money, cant even buy food, you see the food appearing infront of you.. not because God dropped the food from the sky.. but HE allows people to bless you with food.. hmm.. is that what people always quote? "ask and you shall be given of what you ask?" haha... oh well.. when did i become so philosophical.. hahaz.. weird me.. hahaz.. =P

yeahh!! but sad too.. he leaving tomorrow morning le..

2006-09-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

hahaz... yesterday, me and him went to rollerblade.. so fun.. i broke my record.. i only fell ONCE!!! hahaz.. miracle!! mel will know what i talking about.. cuz normally my falling is always so uncountable.. hahaz..we blade for one hour then went off to parkway.. at first wanted to go kbox..
but then we saw SAKURA.. so went over to eat their buffet.. okay la.. quite nice.. hehe.. and know what? i ate more than him.. cuz hungry mahz.. haha.. maybe also because i couldnt eat dinner on tuesday ba.. suddenly no appetite.. hahaz.. poor thing.. wo yi ding ba ni eat poor liaoz.. hahaz..
then is went off to parkway shopping centre to slack le.. went to MPH.. did silly things then went towalk around at SONY .. cuz he is checking the prices.. he wish to get a laptop.. haha..hmm... after that we went to change..because both of us haven change since we left the place mahz.. >.<>

okay.... then later in the evening i going down to his aunt house where he is staying to have mee siam there.. hmm... excited? a bit.. scared? alot.. hahaz.. but have to.. not much time to spend before he comes back 3 months later.. mixed emotions once more.. one part of me wanna be selfish by asking him to stay cuz i will be sad... but another part of me wants him to go back.. to contine his studies then come back.. while i go full force for my N... haha... that is why they usually say.. human can be quite contradicting sometimes.. well oh man.. just let it be ba.. but i will be waiting for him..

i have no idea why.. but i somehow know that you will be mine.. my Mr.Right.. it is still too early to say.. but the promise you gave i am holding dearly to my very breath.. if i had to choose agin.. i will choose you still not because of anything.. just because i love you... i will be waiting right here.. come back soon k my dear!! love you till the day that i die...

long awaited?? or not so long after all..

2006-08-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

HELLO!!! I AM BACK!! Any kind souls actually missed me?? hahaz.. yup.. it seems like it have been ages since i actually blogged.. hahaz.. which is actually true too.. my last post was on 20th July.. now is.. 14 AUGUST!! haha.. wow!! that is sure quite long.. hahaz.. oh well.. recently.. i have been "persecuted" in class.. but THANK GOD for the strength.. that last me till this day that i am still kicking alive.. hahaz..hmm.. there are just ups and downs that we have to go through in life.. hmm... maybe it is something i can go through and gain advantage at the end of it maybe?? hahaz..

there are good things which happened in my life too.. hahaz.. like.. i celebrated Jiejin's 21st birthday.. celebrated GraceQ's birthday.. celebrated sister Dorcas's birthday as well.. my cellgroup is a sweet cellgroup!! no one can deny it.. sometimes when we faces trouble.. look around us.. the people around us who really cares truly stands out!! hahaz.. make you feel so thankful and everything.. yes, i sometimes cry myself to sleep.. but nowadays.. it is only when i feel very hurt.. but i do confide in my friends.. hahaz... so not that bad.. hmm.. but to think about.. i have more happy moments than sad ones recently.. so ya.. i am very blessed still..

Well.. i think what i have to focus now is studying and getting good grades ba.. i seriously have no heart to care of what people wish to say anymore.. i will just try to learn my mistakes and start letting things go.. those which i do not need to hold on to.. it is simply so so simple.. sometimes when we are troubled.. we always focus on our hurts too much.. and then we slowly loses the happiness within us.. I WANNA CHANGE!!

God.. this is a little prayer from me..
Dear God.. i thank You for all that you have done for me.. You are my first love.. the one i never will nor want to forget.. God i need your strength to carry on.. i want to be more of You and less of me.. change this heart of mine.. let be towards You.. Thank You God for all the wonderful people that You have placed in my life.. Thank you so so much..

NEW UPDATE!!

2006-07-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

muahahaz.... okay.. nowadays i just simply like doing random update.. cuz no one see mahz.. so no need update it like so often..right?hahaz...hmm.. okay.. Mel wants badly to see me mentioning her on my bloggy.. so i shall grant her wish right? hahaz... I LOVE MEL, I LOVE MEL, I LOVE MEL!! HAHAZ...

yup.. Mel i love you!! and i will always do!! hahaz.. okay.. now i cannot be bias.. so i must put.. I LOVE... IGNASIA!! PUI MAN AH JIE, JESS JIE, SABRINA, CHMEL, STELLA, NAOMI, LYNETTE, PEAR JIE, ZAC, GRACE Q, GRACE T, ANNABELLE-AKA-BELLE, BRENDAN, JIE JIN, KENRUS, LEXX, EDMUND, DA KOR-BROTHER JUSTIN,XIAO KOR- MARTIN,QIAN JUN,ALL POS DE SISTERS, XUETING,WEITING,FATHER,SON AND HOLY SPIRIT.. hahaz... in short term, i simply love everyone!! hahaz..oh ya.. must put, cuz this person super important in my life!! I LOVE SISTER DORCAS!!!!! she is someone who can never be forgotten in my life!! when i was down, and not walking right in God, she doesnt scold.. she usually use encouraging words to wake me up, she are not those rebuking kind, she is the most gentle cellgroup leader i have ever know.. so so so so so so so so so so so BLESSED to have her as my leader.. she simply just rock my world lahz.. hahaz...
wahahz.. i thank God hat He placed so many wonderful, anointed and caring people into my life.. those who can endure my bad behaviour and weaknesses.. i just wanna let all of you people know that, even though some friendships were short-term or starting to drift apart unknowingly that, i do cherish all of you!! every single on of you have placed footprints into my heart.. that can never be erase, the laughters and tears that we shared in the past will be a part of me no matter what happen.. it is a journal within my heart that i will never forget nor replaced.. thank you for loving me.. i believe without the exsistence of anyone of you, i would not have grown so much and be what i am today.. this blog is dedicated you all!!

wahahaz.. cleaning off spider web!!

2006-07-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

hahaz.. i am cleaningoff the spider web now.. hahaz.. thank God recently Puii, ah jie have no time and never come my bloggy, so never kena nagged by her... hahaz.. okay i from dont know when already started saying.. I STILL HAVENT GET TO GO OUT WITH HER FOR A LONG LONG TIME!! JIE, I PROTEST!! YOU GO OUT WITH OTHERS NEVER GO OUT WITH ME.. MAKE ME SO SO SO SO SO SO SAD.. FEEL NEGLECTED!! wahahaz.. no la.. not really that bad.. but i jealous liaoz.. hahaz..
hahaz.. okay, i shall not be complainsome.. i will survive!! hahaz.. Oops.. hehehz.. hmm.. what have i been doing recently? let me recall.. school, school, school and even more school!hahz.. no la.. not that boring as well, GraceQ, my helper and sister dorcas actually let me try playing the guitar for cellgroup's prayer meeting.. was diastrous at first.. because it is my first ever attempt.. hahaz.. but once we were in tune and the presence come, it got better.. so Thank God!! or else i confirm will have phobia de... the scariest point, was when God actually told GraceQ to go pray for people and just let me sing/lead.. but i panicked la.. so atmosphere dropped...Then throughout the whole thing i kena "acapella" for a couple of times.. but nearing to the later part it got better.. but i know it was no longer me who was playing the guitar.. but it was the Holy Spirit..well it was still a good experience.. wahahaz.. Brendan told me something yesterday which i find that was quite true.. he told me.. playing for prayer meeting is harder than playing for cellgroup meeting.. because.. the guitarist once panicked or something the whole atmosphere will drop.. so ya lohz.. hahaz.. hmm.. however i am not trying cover up for myself.. but all i can say is i will brush up my guitar skills future de!! i promise You God!! hahaz..
hmm... GraceQ told me something shocking.. i am still praying about it..

he is coming back soon le.. then fly off again then come back.. hahaz..=D

short post or long post? hmm.. we shall see..

2006-06-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

hmmm... okay.. last week was fun.. hehez.. erm.. i dont sound very enthusiastic hor?how about this? LAST WEEK WAS FUN!!! hahaz... lame.. i know.. haha.. hmm.. on saturday, it was Anthiel's birthday!! hahaz, in case you are not sure, Anthiel is a very cute 1 year old baby, daughter of Brother Gabriel, my ZS.. hahaz..had cg before that, had a fun game.. very interesting one.. hunter and the bear.. hahaz.. something similar to murderer and detective.. then it was praise and worship, i love it, it is because He was so with me la, talking to me slowly... even though i cried alot.. it is because, he gave me a picture of a cross junction, a super difficult path to choose.. but it is so obvious that the path to choose is just right infront of me.. however it will cost me to sacrifice something very precious to me now.. p.s dont worry not about my relationship with Zac.. yeah.. so i was super confused.. then it was service.. He reminded me again.. i simply tear through the song, " So you would come"hahz.. cuz it is so sotrue.. i mean, recently i am always thinking and praying for my future.. but it was all so blurry..now is so clear.. yet ... i am not prepared to sacrifice.. it will be like so weird lahz.. then on sunday it was FUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha.. went for Sun's autograph session at first.. then i went to cineleisure for Get Real" where she was participating the talk.. next was Hereen to support Jacky and Puii ah jie de performance.. stand until my leg super tired.. cuz literally, i stood for the whole day.. hahaz.. then was just food and fun!! enjoyed the whole thing wahahaz..

-i'm at the cross junction, o see the two paths and decided to choose the way which He wants me to.. my next step is clear,,

hahaz..8p.s this is exactly the same post as my Multiply de post.. just copied and paste!! =)

2006-06-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

haha... fruitful day for friday,16 june and saturday,17 june... hahaz.. let's first talk about
Friday...
i woke up at dont know at what time.. it is because i was woken up by my daddy.. to eat breakfast.. oh well i rarely have the chance.. either i cant get up or i have to go school early in the morning.. so decided to struggle getting up and eat with him.. hahaz.. super sleepy though.. hahaz. . we went to the coffeeshop opposite our house and had laksa.. yumyum.. i can never reject spicy food.. hahaz.. when i reach home.. i look at the time, it was only 9 ++??!! so early.. haiz.. suan le ba.. hahaz..hmm.. then next thing i know.. my daddy prepared lunch for us, soup and kampong chicken.. hahaz... nice.. with the combination of the chilli he prepared as well.. hahaz.. marvellous!! hahaz.. hmm.. daddy and mummy did their final packing and set off to the airport.. i tag along.. for 2 reasons la.. firstly, i wanna send them off.. (see i so guai...)secondly, it is because my cellgroup place will be held at tampines so can get a free cab ride.. hahaz.. so ya lohz.. after sending them off.. it was still quite early.. so i decided to play arcade.. hahz.. the funniest thing is i sort of played free arcade!! hahaz.. i did not even fork out a single cent...i have alot of TAPZ card you see.. so i decided to just try all of them and see what i could get.. then i realised that i have one with the balance of $33.++ so i just keep on using.. hahaz.. but i think i still have balance in there lohz.. hahaz.. cool!! hahaz.. once in a lifetime.. then.. it was cellgroup meeting.. it was great.. although the atmosphere was pretty bad at the beginning.. but after sometime.. i still managed to flow back in.. hahaz.. so nice.. then we had ministering.. Sister Dorcas told me that God wants me to get ready to rise up to a brand new level.. as i can do even more things that what i am already doing.. hahaz.. wow!! and my hands and mouth will be used as His tool to the people.. then on my way home.. Brendan suddenly sort of confronted me.. hahaz.. he asked me how old am i.. then i said i am 15 turning 16 this year.. then he say.. then i think you should behave like your own age.. i got puzzled.. so i asked him..as in?..he said.. i think your reaction always too big le.. cuz Grace Q was with us.. i think at that moment she wanted to defend me.. hahaz.. so she was like no...haha.. in the end i let him say his piece before slowly explaining to him .. i think he was taken aback ba.. then he ended with.. i think the more mature side of you is definitely more attractive.. you should show more of this.. i was like.. well.. we will see.. hahaz...THANK GOD FOR THE SPIRITUAL GROWTH IN ME THAT LEAP OFF ONCE AGAIN!! I LOVE YOU, MY LORD!!..
Saturday..
because i slept at 3+,4 on friday... i overslept.. i was suppose to meet belle, mel and ivan at sengkang at 8.30.. but at that time when belle called me.. then i woke up.. hahaz.. sian.. but ignoring about that i still managed to meet them at Serangoon MRT.. hahaz.. thanks for waiting up!! hahaz.. felt guilty.. hahaz.. so ran alot.. hah... hmm.. we did some sun-tanning, swimming at first.. we did not went into the water when ivan, belle and brendan was like warning us, as they saw a jellyfish.. thank God when the rest of us were still in the water, nothing happened.. hahaz.. so we decided to take pictures instead.. hahaz.. so fun lohz.. haha... then we took sky ride.. then LUGE!! so fun.. the first time/ go was scary!! but after that was super super fun!! hahaz.. enjoyed everything!thank you for the fun day!! it was beneficial and bonding in disguise!hahax..

oh ya.. WE SUPER BLESSED BECAUSE IT DIDNT RAIN AT ALL ON THIS PARTICULAR DAY!!! hahaz!! xp

laalal

2006-06-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

hmm.. recently life have been adventurous.. hahaz... and i still havent get to realy meet up with pui man ah jie.. fine... so sad.. having ulcer at my tongue.. so pain lohz.. haha... tomorrow,or to be precise, later on, 12 june, Monday.. N161 de youths and N266 de youths.. we will be having a mini outing.. and BEHOLD!! Mel and i will be the one taking charge.. hahz.. cuz originally we are the ones who organises it.. hehez.. so ya.. hahaz...

hahaz.. oh ya.. i super shocked and amazed how God can use people.. hahaz.. i think on thursday.. i was online as usual.. then kenrus came and msn me, asking what i was doing.. then i said nth.. then he asked me to pray for him.. for his direction for God.. he asked me to use my guitar in case i find it hard to get in the flow.. so i did.. i played a few songs at first.. but i feel they are all not the right ones.. then God led me to the song,"Presence" hahaz.. then everything came out.. hahz.. for more direct details please go to his blog.. http://kenrus100.blogspot.com yup.. hahaz..

missing him.. worried about him too.. hahz.. and missing Puii ah jie.. hahaz..

due to overwhelming request...

2006-05-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

yup... due to overwhelming requests from the same few people (as always) i am updating my bloggy once again... *clearing the dusts away* there look much more cleaner le.. wahahaz... well well... my life recently?? STILL HAVENT GET TO REALLY SEE AND SPEND TIME WITH PUII AH JIE!!!*hmpf.. tao yan de lohz... recently i manage to get my spiritual life to start going up and stuff.. guitar is getting along fine... improving and stuff.. the happiest thing is the news of my CGL, sister Dorcas is considering to use me anot le.. wahaha... happy yet stress.. hahaz... a super common syptom lohz.. so ya...
what about POS?? hmm.. lidat lohz.. this year.. is physically weak de me.. but emotionally and spiritually is okay .. hahz..i so sad can?? my chinese i got A2.. even though i really wanna get A1 lahz.. sad.. hahaz... but never mind.. oh ya... me and zac de third month has just passed not long ago.. on 25 may.. he called after so long that i was simply just kept on jumping lohz.. around my poor thing, merilyn.. who unknowingly just like a tree.. wahahaz... not only that.. it was also my anniversary with PUII JIE!!! i know her for one year.. time doesnt only flew very fast.. i suspect it sat on a rocket... hahaz.. okay i was just trying to be very lame.. hahaz... k lah.. nothing to write le.. i think.. blehz.. hahaz... buaibuai

happy and happy and sian..

2006-05-14T06:14:00.001-07:00

Today is happy.. happy.. and a bit sian... yup... my feelings for today.. wahahaz.. this morning woke up in a hectic moment... cuz.. i was suppose to leave my house at 7 with my sister.. but we slept until like 7.52am.. so i jumped off the bed and panicked.. next thing i know.. i went over to my sister house and was like saying," jie.. dont sleep le.. no time le.. we late le.. 8 le... faster.. you have money?? we take cab down.. share share.. faster." hahz.. then my sister also follow me panicked.. we prepare finish at like 8.20.. i faster called Grace quek.. then she worse.. just woke up only.. i was like so happy on the inside la.. hahz.. dont tell her worx.. hehex...okay.. by then i was already downstairs waiting for a cab.. when i was about to board on it, Edmund called me.. saying," (in a deep voice) hello jasmine, are you here in church already?" i was like,"(feeling so bad) no... i now in the cab le.. rushing down.. so sorry.." he then say.."(deep voice again) hmm... okay.. never mind.. see you later.. bye.." okay all sounded so cartoon.. but this was really what happened.. hahaz.. in the morning of course...

I then reached Expo unknowingly.. paid $9.60.. but halved it with my sister.. so it is around... i lazy to count.. you ownself count, 9.60/2 hahaz.. lalaz.. saw Kenrus, Jie jin(his sister)and Grace teo.. went to queue up.. and awaited for the time for Pastor Phil Pringle's message... so beneficial k?? hahaz..those who wemnt will totally agree with me.. hahaz.. yes and can you imagine?? out of the 3 days conference i only went for today's what about those who went for straight 3 days??hahaz...

i wanna blog about something that happened on Friday.. hahz.. what happen was.. we are having our practise for POS then i think because Esther ate something wrong or something.. she started vomiting.. until later she lost consciosness.. nasia,aaron, me and a passerby, a SOT student, sister Pricilla(spelling??) had trouble getting her a cab.. so we decided to send Esther to the hospital.. but seriously.. tell me what can 3 'kids' do??send someone to hospital?? like so lost lohz.. but i really thank God for that sister.. if not for her husband and her.. we will still be lost there and then if they havent send us a ride to the nearest hospital which was NUH.. she stayed throughout with us at the hospital until Esther's family came.. at that time.. i was like a recorder keep repeating what happened.. to the doctor, the nurse, the family, the leaders such as, Brother Gabriel, Sister Kaixin,Sister JiaHui,Sister Josephine and Brother Kenneth.. for like a full whole hour.. so tiring.. but i needed to.. cuz she was beside me.. so i know what happened better la.. in a sense..

After that... the four of us left first.. we haven eaten anything yet.. so we decided to eat.. i told nasia and aaron that we should treat the sister a meal.. for staying with us.. her husband was supposed to fetch her for lunch and then home but ended up her husband left le.. then she was left with us..so i really really wanna treat her a meal.. so ya.. but nasia stuff are at jurong de church so i had to go back to take.. and the sister wanted to go expo and read her bible and stuff instead of going double trip.. so we had to part.. i was like.. " you spoilt my plan, i wanted to treat you for a meal de.." then she said i was wanting to treat you a meal as well.. hahaz.. but ya.. no choice.. we parted.. i felt like, unknowingly she was an angel in disgusie.. so yup.. so blessed.. i later found out from Esther's brother, Wilson at around 7++ Esther was feeling better and then was being discharged.. thank God and i Praise HIS wonderful name!!! hahaz

blahblahblah

2006-05-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

okay... i wanna be a good girl and update my bloggy.. so that i wont kena nag.. hahaz... recently only having exams la.. one after and another.. i only completed 2 papers.. English and Chinese.. English was okay.. but Chinese very funny.. hahz.. i messed up the criteria of the Chinese compre with the English ones.. hahaz... then i nearly fliped la.. so confusing.. then when i was stressed up( for the first time) my chinese teacher came walking towards me, patting my shoulder and say," xiao jie, destinction hor.." so super anti-climax la.. hahaz.. then i was like staring at her... in my heart i was just saying.. can you please excuse me awhile first? but i still love her as my teacher.. hahaz... so ya lohz...
the during chinese de letter writing.. my brain alreay taking break le.. so blank blank de.. hahaz... so while thinking, i did graffiti on my poor eraser.. hahaz.. hahaz.. just couldnt stop poking on it.. so ya lohz...poor eraser... haha... when i suddenly have a idea, then my exam de teacher came over to my seatt.. my idea like find the teacher scary or what..*poof* and it was gone.. hahaz... then i keep staring at my teacher.. then he just keep looking at me and looking at the paper... to and fro, to and fro... hahz.. it was a very funny sight.. hahaz... hmm.. think will update again.. but i dont know when though.. hahaz...

will always be missing Zac and Puii jie.. hehex...

a lifetime long...
hahaz

2006-05-03T06:12:00.000-07:00

okay.. fine... i too long never blog le then keep kena ah jie de complain.. hehex.. but seriously, jie, i think you are the only one who reads my bloggy lohz... hahaz.. i have been fine.. oh ya.. forget to inform you, Zac, is coming back at 10 December 2006 instead of 20 December.. hahaz.. yup i am happy.. i admit... wahahaz...

i am so happy... i am getting back closer to God le.. after so long.. FINALLY!! ya lohz.. stagnant for some time, almost backslided.. had so many encounters with depression.. and now finally get back on track with Him le.. i'm getting back the gift of discernment le.. i think jie will be like so glad because she plays a very big part in helping me get back on track..

hahaz... i not much thingy to blog about lehz.. oh ya.. tomorrow my exam starting le.. hmm.. after so long.. i now then really wanna put more effort in my studies.. hahaz..
jie i so sian .... i still not feeling well nehz... God give me strength to think better and dont cause me to doze off during the papers k? oh ya.. i need a clear mind as well.. God i thank you in advance... hahaz..
wahahahaz... i have once again updated my bloggy.. jie hor?? hehex...

missing Zac, and Puii jie.. i love you two loads and loads....
*muackx* hehex...

hmm... mel, i love you two as well.. thank you for being there when i needed someone.. even though sometimes it is so so so late and you have things on the following day, you will still stay up to hear me out.. THANK YOU!!!!

LOVING EVERYONE WHO ARE ALL AROUND ME, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO CARES ALOTS!!!

Long- awaited entry

2006-04-25T06:14:00.000-07:00

Okay... jie... you have been asking for my blog ever- since dont know when... so i am entering a new blog entry.. hahaz.. today is the most special day can?? hahaz... it is me and him de second month... even though we are having as long distance relationship... hahaz.. so it is even a more special and precious day for me.. but not only that.. i realised yesterday through scrolling my handphone pictures that i have known Puii ah jie for 11 months le!!! and the very first time we started relly interacting with each other is the very day i took her first picture.. which is on 25.05.05.. so every month on the 25th i get to celebrate 2 special and sweet occasions.. haha...

okay... and now is the most exciting time... hahaz.. because i have a testimonial to share..Wahahahahahz..
my result have GREAT IMPROVEMENT!!! hahaz... i remember last year, when i got my end of year result, i was quite disappointed.. because i felt that even though i worked and studied so hard yet i still got quite a few 'U' grade.. BUT, this time i so so so super happy... haha... because i received my progress report for the past few months and i nearly jumped and hit my class de ceiling.. hahaz... you know what?? for these past few months , my result now only left with one ' U' grade.. wahahaz... the most wonderful thing is that i finally hit my target of my Chinese result.. i have been aiming for a A1 for it since dont know when.. i always feels that my chinese was good and eligible to obtain an A1 very very easily.. but well, i didnt.. i scored B3 and B4 on and off in Sec 1 and Sec2, in Sec 3 have improve by a bit.. i scored A2... but now.. i am like yeah!!! thank God !! A1... muahahaz.. so happy k? kekex...

happy.. happy... happy.. hahaz.... well today i'm high.. i admit.. hahaz... now i have to put on my sprinting gear and zoom all the way to catch up with what i have been missing out from God and claim them all back.. as training.. and prepared that i will be able to fight the spiritual warfare and win it beautifully... hahaz...

ah jie.. i miss ya... always stay cheerful and be my jie for life k?? hahaz...

Zac zac, always be there for each other k??

muahahaz... i am always missing him and puii ah jie... hahaz

still counting the days ahead.. hehex... jie... i have updated my blog le worx.. hahaz...

'breakthrough'

2006-04-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

okay... i know that i'll get killed by many people who are about to read this very post of mine... hahaz.. but i'll still say it... or rather type it out..
today, i manage to stay awake the whole, entire night without sleeping.. hahz. and my excuse is.. i slept an hour during the afternoon as my nap..so not feeling sleepy... i have spent the whole night on the net.. i started surfing at 11.30pm.. and now is 5.25am... hahaz... at first told jun jie that we shall sleep at 3am.. but kor came and msn me saying about somethings.. so jun jie went to sleep first while i stayed online.. talked to In-Hae for awhile then just keep surfing the net until now...i dont want to sleep is because, i am afraid that i wont be able to wake up,, hahaz.. so i play safe lohz... hahaz... just might as well dont sleep.. hehe...

wa... recently cellgroup is really like no love.. or maybe is just that i cant sense any ba.. i know alot of us know and feels the burden.. and just keep saying and grumbling but as Kenrus said.. they were all the talks and no walks at all.. so he will try to be the one who will walk the walk...hahaz... Kenrus.. JIA YOU!!! i'll support you de... hmmm.... but first i must find a way to slowly move into lives that i never try interacting much with de.. i know i can de.. as everyone can.. there is neither age limit nor any other limits, only when you set the limits yourself.. if not.. with God, all things are possible... hahaz... agree ma? i totally agree with myself...

i shall prepare myself better then... as we all know... new level = new devil.. thus i shall give him no chance... wahahaz.. haha... okay i know how to zi high.. anyway.. i must really discipline myself more.. hahaz.. yup.. on Friday, Good Friday, i went to watch movie with Nasia.. "Take The Lead"... i find the story very good.. to me, it is really a story behind a story... that's all i can say.. i mean, if you are interested, go and watch.. "it is for you to find out and for me to know" that is what my primary teacher likes to say.. yup.. i find it really useful.. hahahz..

jie... i miss ya lahz... i cant deny i felt extremely sad when we couldnt meet and go out on Friday, but becasue i understand what you really have to attend and stuff, i felt even more sad.. because then i know the real reason and cant make you go out with me... hahaz.. i even cried.. hahaz.. but then again.. i'm sort of a cry baby so i think it doesnt really affect then.. hahaz.. but i okay le.. and i still love you worx.. hahaz..

*i said this once and i will say it again.. i will always be missing him and my dearest ah jie.. pui man de..*

2006-04-11T15:22:00.001-07:00

hmm.. okay.. so i havent been blogging.. hahaz... sorry la jie.... alot of things in hand mahz.. hmm... my time-table for nowadays are roughly.. Monday and Tuesday most likely will stay back in school for " commitment programme" then next... on Wednesday, i have guitar class with Elaine..thursday stay at home to watch the part-time maid.. Friday, go for POS dance practise then go for cellgroup.. on Saturday go for another guitar lesson given by Elaine then on Sunday, spend some time with my parents or something like that.. hahaz... yup i admit that i am kind of busy lah.. hahaz... but i sort of enjoying everyday having somethings to do.. because... it makes me feel very exhausted thus tempt me to have early rest.. if not i have to toss and turn for at least a while then only will be able sleep by 1-2am..
okay... today worse... i slept last night at 12am.. and i woke up at 4.30am this mornng... went to hang the clothings up, then starting to surf the net.. hahz.. oh well.. i am just a crazy gal.. maybe hor?? hehex... jie will definitely agree.. *thinking* she must be nodding her head now.. and laughing man.. hahaz... but i am who i am.. thus i am very unique... in good and bad ways... i discover another CHC member in my school le.. she is in Sec1 this year.. her name is xin er... she looks.. sweet... hahaz... yup.. so now i in my school.. i discover that i have CHC members in my school, the age range is Sec 1, Sec 3 , Sec 4 and Sec 5.. hope God will even make it more perfect for me as in... let me find a sec 2 de.. hahaz... then it'll be so extremely cool lahz.. hahaz..
i mean.. the best mahz.. so that we will be able to really go out to every single level and meet the people's needs.. hahaz.. Mr Lim... my school de full-time counselor(spelling??) my ex POA teacher told me that.. i should really apply what i learn from church and stuff and start finding out who really needs my listening ears.. *pulling my ear* *detecting broken hearted people and waiting to meet their needs* the funny thing was, he emphasis that when we listen, DON'T PREACH.. hahaz... i was like.. why do people always think that we Christians always go around preaching?? i mean yes la.. we do share a bit only with believers and those who are interested mahz.. you see my pattern, do i look like i go around seeing people then i will just preach?? even if i am ask to do this way, i wont lohz.. hahaz.. bcause i dont dare.. hahaz.. i have something call stage fright de.. hahaz...
Do you know that in the past.... whenever i meet someone who i dont know and stuff.. you can forget about me going around getting to know them.. hahaz... even when they approach me.. i will sometimes just simply burst into tears de... hahaz... funny right?? i remember there was once few years ago.. i went a make-up cellgroup( not people teaching nor learning make up horx.. it is going for another cellgroup meeting as you you have missed your own.. hahaz.. ) then the people was trying to be really friendly so they came just to introduce themselves.. but before they could finish introducing.. i will already cry like crazy.. hahaz.. funny hor? i remember that cellgroup leader even offer me to go home if i was afraid of strangers and stuff.. she so caring.. but then i stayed on until the whole thing ended.. see.. i just revealed another short part of my past.. hahaz... have to go to school le.. later Lynette have to wait or me, then i will feel very bad man.. hahaz... Tata..

*missing him so much and i miss Jie very very much!!*

still counting and looking forward for the day you comes back.. hahaz..

hello!!! hehex...

2006-03-27T14:33:00.000-08:00

hello... now still in the morning.. 6.34am.. havent go school yet.. so decided to send in a blog entry first.. hmm... tummy really hurting now lohz.. guess i ate something wrong from yesterday..
let me see... on last saturday it was 25.03.2006.. which was also the very day that i have gotten attach with him.. because of that.. early in the morning i received his call... he was sweet yet a bit shy shy lidat.. he ask me saying," so you know what is the occasion today?" then i was like... yeah.. i know.. is our 1 month.. hahaz...
then i headed on for service after a while rest.. brought my guitar along.. because i was suppose to have my guitar lesson...but in the end it was being cancelled off.. but i'll be having it today... Brendan help me take my guitar while we were on our way there, so it wasnt that bad... thank you so much wor brendan... anyway.. when i was on my way to the foodcourt to expo, walking with brendan, i saw pui man ah jie backview.. so i shouted out her name.. but i didnt know this shocked both brendan and pui man jie.. they were like..," lidat also can know is her ar?" then i was like.. ya.. so easy... hahaz...very common thing mahz.. hahaz...
then i had bs with sister dorcas first then went for service.. it was a great message... of making the right decision to be a line -crosser.. afterward.. we went fellowshiping.. but something happened made me kinda pissed off then.. but i okay liaoz.. hahz... then i went over to find Sister Dorcas at foyer 3 , mel was there because she was talking to melissa before that.. finally i told her about him de things le.. she say she dont against but she is worry for how i am doing my studies , emotionally and spiritually...i say.. studies okay lah.. spiritually improving.. emotionally still working on it... she says that she know i have improve a bit emotionally.. but she want me to be well in my emotions too.. still must jia you.. i told her that.. i can focus on my studies now.. because, no matter what.. he is still not beside me now.. and i have lynette in school to push me on as i do the same to her..hahaz,, then after that.. she told me that actually she knew one month ago.. but she was just wondering why i never go and tell her.. i told her,"because i find you scary??" then she say," or is it because you have that fear in your heart.." i said maybe ba.. had a bad experience.. then she told me that.. that is also why she keep preaching about we have to really trust every single person... true too la.. i can tell the rest, why cant i telll her?? so yup.. i'm just glad that i did what i did..

okay la.. need to go school le.. bye..

missing him and puii jie... hahaz...

i'm back

2006-03-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

okay.. started to play MIA because.. nothing much to post.. okay.. last friday.. i went out with pui man ah jie..( finally!!! after such a long long time..)enjoyed it.. met her at 1+.. i think.. then she very nua cuz havent mum mum yet.. she was suppose to fast you see.. but she danced for the audition thingy with empty stomach so she just became extreme nua.. kan le wo jiu hao xin tong.. so i exchanged roles with her for a second.. by forcing her to go eat like what she usually do to me.. so ya.. but because she was suppose to fast.. i cant force that much also as it is still her choice.. so i told her to make her decision.. she ended up really nua and decided to go mum mum... we went MOS burger but she say she dont have cash.. and she wanna bring me go SWENSON eat.. i was like.. NO!!! hehex.. so i found out from Brendan where the posb draw out money de machine / short term, ATM machine at where then i pulled her there.. end up we the go Long John Silver... i just drank Sprite while i ordered food for her.. we ended up staying at there for at least one to two hours lohz.. hahaz... long time man... but was fun.. then we went bugis street to search for ring.. cuz i knows she interested mahz.. then we ended up buying a cross de ring.. hahaz... very nice de wor.. and counted cheap because the pricing was $4 each.. i paid for her's but then... she paid for the neos.. zhen de na ta mei you ban fa.. hahaz...after that i set off toparkway parade le.. she waited for my train at my platform before going to her's and waited for my train with me.. hahaz... then when my train arrived... iwas literally being pushed up to the cap.. it was a funny sight.. ahahz... but Jie.. i really enjoyed it alot worx.. thank you...

on Sat, i then met with Jessica jie.. yup.. we ate deli france... then shopped a very short while then went to take neos again.. hahaz.. her's were shorter as i didnt have enough time.. sorry jie.. hehex.. i will amend it again de k?? heehx...

Sunday, i had spelling bee... hahaz.. dont think i get into the next round.. it was quite predictable de lohz..hehex..but i thank God.. or else i will be balding by now.. hahaz..so stressful.. hehex.. okay.. saw Jeff.. and nope.. his attitude still the same from the past... sux.. hahaz..oops.. pui man ah jie and i both feels that he gain weight le.. hahaz.. sad man.. hahaz..anyway.. after everything cuz i need to wait for my sister to go home, i went to sisca's house.. Aunty Elizabeth still treat me as well as before.. and i finally meet the two haryanto brothers again le.. after so long.. hahaz... i left their house only by 9+.. hahaz.. sorry for the imposing worx.. my dear sisca.. heheex...

Monday, he called my prepaid line and chat.. we chat until i was left with 1 cent in my balance.. but thank God i still have another line one to use.. hehex... he says he will be buying a phone forr me.. he will try to find couple phone over there or else he'llbuy me the phone that he will be using by the time he gets back.... sweet.. hehex...

okay... i neeed to go now.. or else i dont know how to get up tomorrow in the morning.. yup.. so nitez nitez

another day where i nua at home

2006-03-15T07:15:00.000-08:00

okay.. today, i just simply nua at home.. hoping that i could sleep until late late then wake up.. but i failed... i was targeting to wake up earliest at 11.. but i woke up by ten... early by an hour.. i sian diao can?? then i couldnt sleep back le.. haiz...so sad.. then i go wash face then brush teeth then go online le... hehex..i online.. first thing i notice was that he was also online.. hahaz.. i ws shocked... then i found out that he every wednesday all have no school de.. chey.. hehex...

but o well.. we chat for like a while.. 1-2 hours..then he went offline... hehe.. meanwhile.. i explored pui man ah jie de blog.. and yes finally.. i saw my name at her blog for the second time.. hahaz... okay then i saw the word ah gal for the third time.. which was also refering to me.. hehex...

mummy aka jie aka ah ma aka evrthing(pui man) take care of yourself can??? if you never recover how to take care of me?? you have the huge responsibility remember? hehex.. so must jian kang then can take care of me mahz..especially i haven been sleeping nehz
must take care of me...

another 9months and 5 days... hehex...

still keep on counting..

now only 11.38pm.. dont think will be sleeping so early.. haha

nice...

2006-03-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

past two days, i havent ben blogging.. on friday, i went to meet ah jie for lunch.. and yup she treated me.. at first she nearly want to bring me to eat hans, subway and stuff de.. but thank God for the crowd and stuff so ended up that we went to foodcourt.. we ended up eating a cute jap foodstall.. when jie went to buy the food.. mel called.. so i talked to er for a short while.. when jie return with the food.. she she started first...when i hung the phone.. she ten ask me to aste my food to tell her whether it was nice.. as her's wasnt.. haha... it turned out that mine wasnt nice either.. so thus i decided to "blacklist" tis particular stall.. hehex.. and the food are not only not nice, they are also not that cheap.. $5.90 for a plate of not nice de food is counted as not worth it and ex can?? imagine paying $11.80 for two not delicious de food.. so waste money.. haiz.. hahaz.. but i still appreciate jie for buying me lunch and spending some quality time with me(finally after so loong) hehex..

then i went for cg.. i manifested. i coughed out the smelly demons.. muahaha... actually it was Eeeeeeeee.. hahaz... but i feel so much more relief and free after that.. so it is not a bad thing after all.. hehex.. next thing i know.. i went home and fell flat on my bed to set off to wonderland.. nice.. hehex.. was totally wore out... hehex..

next on sat.. i woke up at 8.. prepared myself until 9.30am then i left my house to meet lynette..to accompany her to her cousin's funfair thing.. i look more and more like a big panda le.. but just cant help it.. hehe... so hai shi suan le ba.. hehex... then we took cab along with GraceQ to tampines? or somthing like hat.. to meet supposely the rest.. but ended up only Sister dorcas and mel turned up.. we went Long John Silver... ishared a combo meal with lynette.. was filling.. then she made two badges then the wole of us went to take neoprints. really enjoyable.. haha.. she then followed us to Expo.. she have to reach home before 6pm so she couldnt make it for service.. but she have agreed to come again next week.. hehe... so still not so bad hahaz... i can see she have enjoyed herself.. which is a good thing.. hehex.. brendan walked er out and everything when she had to leave.. hehez.. then i waited for service to start lohz.. something happened in between but i dont really wanna mention it though.. anyway the thing have been resolved so why say?? hhex

after the service, we went to changi.. where Algyn treated us ramen at Ajisen... felt so bad cuz it is so so so expensive.. haiz... but thank you algyn.. for the blessing.. i feel so bad.. because currently he is not working.. haiz.. but i believe he will get back his reward in a hundred fold or more de.. amen!!

after that when i reached home i chatted with him, brendan and grace quek a while before i report back to wonderland.. hehe...

on sunday.. i woke up did the daily stuff then wnt out to eat brrunch with my grandfather.. in the afternoon i chatteed with him for a while ten went to eat dinner at my grandfather's house and headed home again.. i chatted with jie on the phone.. so happy!! hehex.. because we rarely do.. most of the time we just sms each other.. yup.. that's us..and now.. i am again online , he time now is 2.15am.. and i havent retire into bed yet.. hehex.. chatting with him and doing nth much. hahaz,,..

still very hyper worx...

9months an 7 days more..

missing jie and him.. hehex...

Viral fever?? i dont even have fever lohz.. Chim...

2006-03-08T19:35:00.000-08:00

i went to see the doctor yesterday.. because, yes i need the mc.. hahaz... but guess what?? before that my nose bled twice.. ( nope.. no one bish me..) dont know why like that also .. then la du zi for a while, few days ago... whole body aching.. then i told the doctor all these symptoms.. then he say i kena viral fever.. the funny thing is when he measured my temperature, i have no fever lohz.. if i remember correctly is 36.4... so i really blur liaoz...

so people you all also cannot say i lazy le.. because, in fact i was really sick lohz.. and the doctor actually commented that i cannot go for the camp if not i will be even more sick lohz.. muahahaz... but again it is not a good experience can? last night i have problem of even falling asleep as i keep having the feeling of vomiting.. yucks!!!

then i msged da grace and pui man ah jie about it.. to pray for me for me to at least get some sleep.. hahaz... then this morning, i received msg from Kenrus,Mel,Lexx,Sister dorcas and ah jie all asking me the the same question.. of whther was i feeling better.. so end up i just resend the same message to them all.. hahaz... sorry lahz.. i can get lazy sometimes de mahz..

so what happen now is that i am blogging, msg ah jie and just sitting in front of the computer and slacking.. hehex...

*9 mths and 11 days more.. hehex...*

~missing him, jie and everyone..~

missing him, never go school and slacking at home..

2006-03-07T20:15:00.000-08:00

okay... today i naughty can? never go school.. because have camp and i really dont wish to go lohz..and okay i admit also because lynette never go can? hehex... i dont wanna go there and be a loner lohz.. hehex...so.. yup... i never go.. ah jie sick le.. haiz.. must really recover worx...!!! hehe... then again.. i feel ill.. not feeling we le.. hahaz.. sad..

OM called.. i dont care lahz.. hehex... another 9 months and 12 days!!! hope time will pass faster..

i enjoyed yesterday's prayer meeting!!! it was great!!! wonderful!!! and marvellous!!! i am growning spiritually better than in the past!!! ah jie you can fang xin le.. hehex...

power day?? surely..

2006-03-04T08:04:00.000-08:00

today.. miraculously and finally, pui man jie never suan me.. and yup i bitten her.. hehe... then was like.. okay.. fine.. you lidat also happy ar? yup... cuz i very long never interact with you le... because you are always so busy with your stuff.. then nowadays you working so i after school also cannot meet like the way last year we usually do.. so miss you lots.. and left you a bite.. to remind you to not forget about me, your ah gal.. hehez...

my cellgroup leader, sister Dorcas signed me up for the spelling bee competition.. i almost fainted when i flipped through.. so hard lohz.. need prayers , courage and more FAITH!! hehex...haiz.. will try my best de.. i was so touch by him.. he gave me reassurance that the relationship will work out no matter what de.. okay.. i mean i do have faith la.. just myself.. hehex...

i saw jeff yesterday.. okay.. my feeling was,"oh no!! he joining spelling bee also.. but i dont care, i wanna beat him.. hehex.. " sometimes we just need to have this kind of "right" attitude right?

i was happy as well.. because i could feel that God is once again more closer to me, and i am rising to another unknown level.. hehez... i cried for awhile during worship.. hehex..and not forgetting the drama... hahaz... yup.. it is like so touching k? and it is based on a true, real-life story lohz.. i really felt the very love of God.. it really makes me want to cherish all the people in my life, and strive to win souls using Jesus's way..
i want to cherish pui man jie, jess jie, my own jie, every single person in N161, mummy and daddy, uncles and auntie, lynette, friends in school and him more...the most important is God!!!! He is the one who created me, set me on solid ground showing me the love i can never get from anybody except He Himself!! Jesus not only never despise us even when we were sinners in the past.. He blessed us and even died on the cross for us... i now love God and Jesus even more than ever..

I LOVE YOU ABBA FATHER!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NASIA!! i miss jie and him once more.. hehex..

Cellgroup cum bbq last night!!

2006-03-03T18:22:00.000-08:00

okay.. so yesterday i didn't have any update.. it is because after school, i had mother tongue oral.. then i went straight down to parkway parade to meet Lexx, Grace Quek and Algyn.. we took cab to his place and then slack there for a moment... about 5 then thee brothes, Brendan,Lexx and Algyn himself went to swim and the sisters , Mel, Grace and me went to play billards/pool.. the playing time was fun.. and we who were in the room was the nosiest ever lohz.. haha... all of us don't seem to bother to maintain our imaage.. hahaz... but who cares? only the three of us in there so it is a good time to let our hairs down.. kekex..
Then when the three of us were already super hyper.. the brothers joined us too... they didn't bring down their clothes to change so they just simply use a tower to wrap over only.. haha..mel labelled them as brothers in skirts.. we even took their picture.. hahaz..okay.. fine.. we are a bit evil can?? kekex...then we continued playing lohz..after a short time.. the guys went up to wash up and changed into their clothings..
then we had cellgroup for an hour.. i enjoyed the presence of God yesterday alot..*personally* but i couldnt feel the same presence in the cellgroup itself.. i dont know why like that also.. hope it can improve during the next cellgroup meeting... N161..Jia you!!
oh ya.. testimonial time.. my previous test for chinese.. i scored 78... this time round i scored 80!! even though not that much of improvement but i am still very thankful to God le.. and for my chinese oral, i think i impressed the teacher lohz.. i read the passage half-way then the teacher ask me which country am i from... then i say that i'm a singaporean.. then she was like, wow.. i like you pronounciation and tone.. next when it was the conversation part.. the teacher then say.. wow.. your thinking very mature then i was like.. thank you.. hahaz.. so shuang..
have great hope for the oral le.. haha... chinese i'm going to beat you down.. hahaz

okay enough of the crapping le..

byebye

*missing him and jie and TODAY IS IGNASIA'S BIRTHDAY.. missing all in total.* hehex..

Not a bad day again!! (i_i)_b

2006-03-02T01:18:00.000-08:00

today was good/ great.. only yup as anyone who all could have been able to guess.. Pui man jie suan me again.. hahaz... but it is okay.. because i have a feeling the day i can suan you back even "nicer" is approaching soon already worx..
another 9 months and 18 days to await his return.. hahaz..hope time would really fly faster than i could expect.. hahaz...everytime, people like saying the time flies off very fast just as quick as a wink of eyes.. *wink..wink..wink* but y i wink so many times i still dont feel that it that fast lehz? *ponder..ponder...*
however, i am willing to wait.. just talked to Shaun awhile.. he told me that long distance relationship are hard to maintain.. but i have faith.. if we are meant to be, we'll be.. hahaz... so i become more relax le.. hehex...

today he was cute.. he sms me yet say i shouldn't be reading that sms.. i like burst out into laughter lohz.. hahaz.. sweet guy..

must emphasis... jie i dont care.. i wanna spend ALL AND I MEAN ALL the special occasions and holidays with ya.. whether you like it or not.. bleahx xp hahaz... *muacks* i miss him and everyone alot.. hehex

average blooging for today

2006-03-01T05:28:00.000-08:00

today as usual.. kena suan by pui man jie.. okay.. i admit, today i missed him a bit more... but there is really nothing i can do about mahz.. i waiting for his broadband to be repaired so to be4 able to chat with him online than smsing.. firstly it is very expensive, requires alot of $$.. secondly.. not worth it cuz have alot of things are actually more unable to express through sms.. than msn .. hahaz..
Couples, lovers, admirers of others out there.. long distance relationship are actually not that exciting.. because when you miss the person, you wont be able to meet him/her as it is as if you are at one end and he/she is at the other end.. more like torturing.. but it is also a test to see whether you are willing to commit ever-more
yup.. today in school was fun.. because my teacher never come.. she'll be on MC( medicational certificate) for 3 days.. hahaz... will have english period as free periods.. hahaz.. hmmm.thanks for all your prayers lehz, kenrus.. i recently in class really no more persecution.. instead, i have really the favor of man lohz.. my classmate never say me anymore, my teachers have good impression of me, even when my black dye already faded.. yet they never seems to catch me , i was like, standing right under the direct sunlight lohz.. hahaz.. blessed man..
and i have no more problem of waking up during weekdays already... only will sleep till a bit later during weekends.. muahahaz...
yes, i know i'm a good girl.. muahahaz... on Sat is nasia's birthday!!! thinking what i cando for her.. hahaz...
okay, i once again di it, by crapping alot.. oh ya.. i have a feeling my prayer meeting group can really begin latest by next week..

please people( or rather pui man) please keep my school in prayer for me can? to have the boldness and everything, i dont wish to cry in fear infront of the rest.. hahaz...*muacks*

thank you and miss ya

(i,~)_V

happy day or what??

2006-02-28T04:40:00.000-08:00

I just finished bathing.. today was counted a great day before a silly mistake happened and causing my family to be so silent now... i went for dental appointment this afternoon, changed it to purple.. i realised after that, that it is a nice colour!! yup..
i dont feel like sharing the bad incident so let me fill in the good ones... yesterday he called me from Perth, i was happy and sort of touched as even though he and i knows that long-distance call are very expensive, but he stilll made the effort to do so... i complaint to him that december is a long time.. then he told me that he'll try to come back at june for a short period of time.. hope he can make it back..(i_~)_V

i saw Li yuan today, she is still so chio as before at J8.. i went there after my bracing hoping to see with i could find Lynn.. to maybe fellowship with her.. along with Grace Quek.. as she accompanied me to the dental appointment.. yup that's sweet of her too...

i love Pui man.. hehex... even though, jie you keep suaning me, but i still love you de worx.. hahaz...hope to spend all special occasions with you( as promised we made to each other) if you refuse my heart will break de worx.. love ya lots...

hope you can come back very very soon!!!

quick blogging

2006-02-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. today i shall do a qick, nice and sweet blogging.. yesterday and today i was being bullied by ah jie(pui) she keep suanin me.. hmpf... so mean.. but never mind, because i believe she'll reap what she have sowed.. for being so evil.. hahaz.. that's what i have been calling her from yesterday till today..
She have been really evil k? keep saying perth.. never mind i shall get her carnation and ju hua soon.. jie, see i told you i'll definitely give you flower one.. you better prepare a extremely tough de metal armour, or else your meat will come off.. muahahaz.. oops.. i am becoming evil as well thanks to her "kind influence" hahaz...
I so happy, because my POS starting le... i also planning to start prayer meetings and stuff from these few months because i have not been doing anything from last year.. hmm.. left everything aside for half a year?? that's long.. that is also why i feel so guilty and starting it again now..

people can start praying for me ma? that everyone will be willing to make some time to get together and step out of our own comfort zone by faith as without faith, we are unable to please God.. and Faith without works is died so everyone must really strive hard.. but the important thing is still that we cant neglect our own studies... i seriously pray that all of us will be able to juggle our time well and handle our spiritual life better.. yup.. my prayer..

i hope time will fly off realy soon... i'm looking forward in december already (i_~)_v

Am i important or not?

2006-02-23T02:01:00.000-08:00

hmm.. am i important or not??

anyway drop that matter lahz.. i today enjoyed myself in school.. amazingly.. i woke up like 6.15am because my panasonic de phone dropped on the floor and because it doesnt have its batt. cover.. the battery came out and landed nicely on the floor.. so it didnt ring.. only my nokia phone rang.. i still in my dreammland thinking i have a phone call.. hahaz... lame.. but yup.. that's me!! hehex....
today in school... was very interesting.. hmm.. my Chinese teacher going back to her hometown, Shanghai for good le.. wont be coming back to teach le.. hehex... because she wants to cherish her time being with her two old- aged parents... as she is their only child.. hehex.. today, alvin like have something amissed lidat... keep coming to bully me and lynette in a funny and cute way... for fun de.. during history lesson, i keep dozing off.. but i was about to have test after the first history period.. so that means i was suppose to pay full attention.. so i was like, i cant fall asleep... but i still did... haiz.. so in the end i told lynette to keep me awake.. so when i was about to doze off, she suddenly tapped my shoulder.. and i was like, hey! it works.. hahaz... lame but at least it was useful okay?? hehex... then off to chemistry lesson again.. but as usual, ms Loh couldn't really conduct the lesson because of the disruptive students, friends of mine... but never mind, i still love you all.. hahaz,,, then my day just ended lidat lohz.. fun lohz.. because today i didn't need to be grunching.. okay maybe have.. because when i took the cab to go home, that uncle like don't know the way lidat, went one whole big round lohz.. never even ask me careful before setting off.. haiz.. make me pay for $5.90 instead of the usual price of $3+ to $4..

haiz.. hehez.. anyway.. my papa actually left $100 with me when he left for cruise, i am still left with $60 over because i bought some books.. and he say that i can keep the rest.. hahaz.. yeppy... i'll be going to buy a new bag tomorrow(i hope) hehex.. k lahz.. i have been crapping alot today again...

*byebye*

*muacks*

~green tea have been here to crap (~,^)_v ~

Cheered up and geared up!!! =)

2006-02-22T06:53:00.000-08:00

Today, i am much more happier already... because Zhi wei didn't come today... that's the happiest thing lahz!! then one of the koreans that came last week, added me on Msn.. i am like so excited and happy.. hmm.. i wondering who is she...? So excited!!! i retook my maths test as a whole class... and i really thank God!! because, when i had my first attempt, i failed until very badly lohz.. but my re-test, i scored like 14/20 marks lehx... i was like jumping up and down!! hehex... as for my chinese, when i first received my paper i scored 72, which is a A2? but then teacher actually tally the scores wrongly.. so ended up i scored 78 marks!! it is a A1.. i'm like rejoicing liao lohz.. hahaz.. my results improving le... but i still not very satisfied lehz.. i am going to aim for at least 80 marks and above.. hahaz...
oh ya.. and today i had a great time with jess jie.. she relly know how to make me enjoy and stuff!! thanks jie.. hahaz... and pui man ah jie never message me today..=( so sad..*sob sob* hope she will tomorrow ba.. hahaz.. and my FAMILY ARE BACK!! misery or relieve? i also not so sure myself.. hehex... better stop here le.. because SOMEONE WHO I DON'T FEEL LIKE MENTIONING WANNA USE THE COMPUTER... i think most people will know who i am refering to ba... okay...

enough of crapping le.. ciaoz..

~greentea was here~

Foul mood!! =(

2006-02-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

haiz.... having foul mood like right now... cuz... kena pissed off by the two person again.. Jaromel and Zhi wei... they call me sai bu lohz..(opposite from chio bu..you all should know what it means) irritating beings!! nothing better to do mehz?!
Jaromel.. keeps goin on about satanic stuff like never ending lidat, i mean dont you know that the least you can really help is that u just respect your classmate's religion and beliefs?! i'm now even embarrassed to say that we have been friends for a very long time le... insensible moron!!! *hey.. the description really suite him alot man... hehex.... getting happier already.. not because i am a sadist or wad lohz.. but he just really pisses me off!! hehex..*
Koh Zhi Wei!! you really very childish lohz.. just because lynette wanted me to sit beside her, doesnt mean that you have the right to call me this type of no taste de names right? i mean who are you to her man??!! you dont have any really close relationship with her lohz.. at least i know she really treat me as her friend.. so must you care and comment so much?! Mind you.. SHE IS ALREADY ATTACHED TO SOMEONE ELSE!! so get your dirty mind off her can? why lehz?? you have nothing better to do izit?? so childish...
Due to you both have hit my endurance level for now... i will..... i will.... tell the DM, mr chan and mdm uma about this.. not because i'm afraid because i'm tired of taking things into my own hands le.. so you both better watch out!!!
i'm going tell them tomorrow.. seriously.. how bo liao u both can get man??!!

*NOTE* to those innocent parties... sorry to let you read on my complaints... hehz... cuz i really needed somewhere to let out my anger...

~greentea was just here, complaining.. hehex..~

hello!!! hehex...

2006-02-20T02:25:00.000-08:00

today is my second day of experiencing being alone at home without my papa, mama and jie jie around and with me... hehex.. a bit weird weird de lahz.. but other than that okay lahz... (~,^)_v
today, counted as quite fun cuz Elaine(my jie jie de discipler aka my friend and ex-cg member) and Lexx(current member) comer my house to create havoc.. hahaz.. no lahz.. to have fun.. hehex... i admit.. quite fun lahz.. muahahaz... but in school different case lahz...

almost got into another fight with Jaromel,( that satanic fatty!) and slap the KOH ZHI WEI once more( last year slapped him then kena detention 2 days) hahaz...but notice i put there ALMOST.. so in the end i didnt lahz.. later kena case den will become very mafan de.. also not good for my and His(God) reputation hor? hehex... see, so i must be guai kia from this time on nehz... later kena unnecessary beating( by pui man, mel mel that group).. hehex...

not worth it lahz.. you waste time and energy in the end also dun gain anything de lohz.. hmm... maybe more endurance? i dunno.. hehez....

Lexx just dozed off of the sofa again.... elaine lookin at the screen while i blogging... hmm.. they like, waitin for me to go mum mum mcdonald lehx... so should i be so bad to keep them waitin? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo... later kena counselling jiu wan dan le... so i go off first le.. i go think of more things to luo suo then come back here and flood my own blog ba..

ciaoz!!!!!!

~just here to be here.. hahaz... fei hua~

Considerate?? Dont think so!! ( blowing out all my complaints at one go!!)

2006-02-13T00:12:00.000-08:00

I mean didnt everybody says that we should consider the feelings and respect others? didnt we told each other how much we must not be too harsh unless needed to? but why i dont see it in you? why do you always ask people to do things out of your very own convenient?! sometimes you might think people are able to accomplish simply everything.. yet u cant??!! so contradicting lohz.. for goodness sake... before u comment ppl are being self-centered , reflect on your self first can? wow.. made me so mad and fustrated for the past one week lohz...

CHRISTINA!!! You have been too much lohz... called me a bitchy, being bitchy and stuff.. wad abt urself??!! go dig up my past, so bo liao ar? wanna me let u go dig up my pri school or even pre-school de things ma??!! can u do more useful things than being so childish??

as i'm goin through all these stupid and fustrating things, i just simply wonder who really know wad situation i'm in now, i not trying to self pity lohz.. just that i find that this time i only can depend on God le.. cuz in my point of view, everyone are always so busy, who have the time to spend on the small, me?? except for my abba, father..

i'm willing to give up everything i own to exchange a bit more of u.. i know i'm unable to depend on Man on earth to feel the love when u gave ur only, begotten son for me, and saying, My child, i know all that u are goin through and i LOVE YOU... it touched my heart like never before i love u too!!

~being around to love HIM 4eva~ <33

New me?

2006-02-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

Yup... the question.. today have the ultimately tiring day for me!! had Cross-country... so tiring k? some more i not enough rest, water and i didnt eat lohz.. hahaz... other than that have really no other description already... oh ya... i also had muscle ache, because i like haven really been running lohz... i dont like running, but i definitely prefers swimmin!! so i will be really glad if one of these days ppl to ask me out just for a swim.. hehex... it is definitely a bing,HINT HINT.. hehex..

i'm like really bored to tears and extremely no life lohz.. hahaz... amazing that i still can really laugh and stuff.. i just cutted my hair before comin home.. cuz need to make a lthinner feel... so in another word, my rebondin most likely cut away le.. heehx...

anyway i create this blog cuz i havin fun just starin at the computer screen.. hehex....
befor ei forget, today Mel mel , Pui man ah jie, Andy they all collecting their 'O'levels result!!! jia you worx.. all of you ppl.. hehe...